Phoenix Education

5 Tips for Reminding Yourself of Your Worth Fast

Are you not having a good day? We all falter sometimes. All it takes is a little unasked-for criticism or someone just treating us harshly to trigger us into a spiral of negative self-talk and anxiety about not being liked.

When you need to remind yourself of your worth fast, it’s good to have some ideas in mind. Try these quick tips for getting yourself back on track even when life seems out of control.

Go into a Judgement-Free Zone

OK, so your thoughts aren’t what you wish they would be. You know you’re in a depressing cycle. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re starting to hit critical mass when it comes to criticism. You already know you’re not supposed to be reacting this way. So to make your awful day a little bit worse, you start beating yourself up for how you’re treating yourself. This is entirely the wrong approach. Your first step must be to stop the negative spiral. Drop the judgment. Accept you’re having a bad day. This moment doesn’t have to define you. With these thoughts firmly in mind, it’s time to let things go.

Drop the ‘Should’

Why are you caught up thinking about ‘should’ anyway? The moment you start using this particularly devilish little word, you’re telling yourself what a failure you are. You have become caught up in a vortex of perfectionism; you can’t possibly escape. ‘Should’ never helps anybody. Erase it from your vocabulary.

Stop Looking for Validation

Anytime you think someone else can give you what you need to feel good about yourself, you’re going to be disappointed. People will let you down. Even in the best relationship, it’s not healthy to use someone else to define who you are. This kind of thinking can be dangerous. What if the person you relied upon was no longer in your life? How would this then impact your self-worth?

Come to Terms with the Past

It’s time to separate your actions from yourself. When you make a mistake, acknowledge the error and move on. To get caught into shame or guilt only hurts you in the long run. There is nothing to be gained by victimizing yourself. Forgive yourself and move on.

Know Where You Excel

For a super-quick fix to your self-worth, take a moment to list off the things in which you excel. Acknowledge your accomplishments. A close examination of all the things which make you proud should give you a solid reminder you are indeed worthy.

By paying attention to these five areas, you can quickly restore your self-worth. The key is to be alert and move quickly to head off negative thoughts before they undo all the hard work you’ve already put into yourself.

Using Positive Affirmations to Combat Stress

Many people use affirmations for personal development and to help them meet their life goals. But did you know you can use affirmations to build resilience and combat stress?

Whether it’s a one-off stress like having to give a presentation or an ongoing stressful issue, you can create the right affirmations to support you through. Affirmations will help you deal better with current stress, and over time, prevent future anxiety.

Know Your Negative Enemy

Identifying your negative thoughts is the first step in working out the best affirmations for you and your situation.

Take a moment to think of all the beliefs that come up when you think about your stressful event. Do you worry about not knowing what to say at a party, or freezing while you try to give a presentation? Write down every negative thought that pops into your head. Make the conscious decision to move away from those negative beliefs.

Turn the Negatives into Positives

Now you have your list of negative thoughts; you can take each one and turn it into a positive. Make strong positive statements and remind yourself of times in the past when you coped well in similar situations.

When you develop your affirmations, tie them back to times when you have succeeded in the past. If you can’t think of any, ask your partner, friend, or colleague to help you. Likely they’ll have a much more positive view of your skills and achievements than you do!

Write down some encouraging phrases to get you through, like ‘I’m feeling stressed, but I will be ok,’ ‘I can do this,’ ‘When this is over, I will be so proud of myself.’

Keep Your Affirmations Realistic

Affirmations are not magic. Keep your affirmations in proportion to what you can do and how you feel. If they are too ambitious, they can make you feel more anxious than before. And if you have a misstep or you fail, then you’ll feel even worse than before.

Maybe you get anxious about public speaking, whether it’s giving a presentation or having a job interview. Your affirmations will help you even more if you know you have done everything possible to be prepared.

If you worry about getting stage fright or going blank, prepare every aspect of your speech or presentation. Remind yourself that you know how to do this, you know your subject.

Anticipate what might go wrong and work out strategies to prevent or deal with it, from having spare notes in case the technology fails to having a glass of water nearby if you feel faint.

5 Ways to Develop Positive Thinking

Not feeling well? Kind of blah and wishing you had something better to say about the day than a mumbled ‘fine’ when someone asks you how you are? The solution might be simpler than you think.

Our attitudes really are everything. When we’re not feeling great about our lives or how the day is going, everything can seem to go wrong. The problem is, life isn’t a steady thing. You might have one really good day followed by another equally bad. With so many things outside of your control from the weather to politics it might seem impossible to ever truly feel good about anything.

The answer lies in your thinking. By being able to think positively, you will find your entire outlook changes.

How do you develop the habit of positive thinking?

Rephrase

The obvious answer is to use more positive words. Instead of saying something negative, either out loud or in your head, try to find a better way to say things. For example, work isn’t grueling so much as it might have interesting challenges. While this might seem artificial and forced at first, the more you work to rephrase things, the easier it will be to find a more positive spin.

Reframe

How many times have you talked about ‘having’ to do something. This alone has a negative connotation, as though you’re being forced into something you don’t want to do. Instead trying to drop the word ‘have’ in this context, and try inserting ‘get’ instead. You don’t have to do a presentation by Friday. You get to do one. Hear the difference? This is how you change a task into an opportunity.

Reorient

Sure, disasters are going to happen. Not everything you attempt is going to turn out exactly the way you’d like it to. Rather than focus on the disaster, try changing your focus. It might be time to shift to a slightly different method or goal.

Relax

It’s so hard to be positive when you’re absolutely exhausted and feeling like you’re in over your head. Sometimes the best way to cultivate better self-talk is to cut yourself some slack and take a break. Things will look brighter when you can come back refreshed.

Reassess

Being positive should never be about closing your eyes to tragedy or injustice. Bad things are going to happen in the world. But someone with a positive attitude will be able to look beyond the tragedy to the next step. Positivity finds solutions where others only see problems. Here is the birth of activism and change.

How to Set Realistic Goals

Goal setting is essential for anyone who wants to build their dream life. Having clear goals helps you stay focused and motivated, track your progress, and measure success.

It’s also a great way to develop the self-discipline and consistency needed to make positive changes in your life.

When you set meaningful goals, they become easier to achieve because you have something tangible to work towards that will help you break bad habits or create new good habits. In addition, with goal setting, small successes add up over time, leading to big results in your transformation.

Setting goals is an important part of personal and professional growth, but it’s important to set realistic goals that are achievable and sustainable. Unrealistic goals inevitably lead to disappointment and a lack of motivation, while realistic goals provide a sense of accomplishment and direction.

Knowing when a goal is realistic is all about setting sensible expectations for yourself. Start by defining the goal, breaking it into achievable steps, and assessing how much time and effort each step will take.

Here are several strategies for setting realistic goals – leading to success and fulfillment.

Know Your Values

Before you set any goals, it’s important to identify your values and priorities. What is most essential to you in your personal and professional life? Aligning your goals with your values ensures that your goals are meaningful and fulfilling.

Identify Any Roadblocks

When you set goals that are within reach, it’s more likely that you will succeed in achieving them. Always consider any external factors that may impact on reaching your goal, such as finances or resources. Knowing this information will ensure that your goals are balanced and within reach.

Make Specific and Measurable Goals

Rather than setting vague goals like, “I want to be successful,” set specific and measurable goals that you can track your progress towards. For example, “I want to increase my income by 25% within the next year by finding a higher paying job or starting a side business.” Specific and measurable goals provide a clear direction and allow you to track your progress.

Make Sure Your Goals Are Attainable

It’s important to set goals that are challenging but also attainable. A goal that is too difficult or unrealistic is demotivating and leads to frustration. Consider your current resources and skills when setting goals, and make sure they are practical given your current circumstances.

Make Sure Your Goals Are Time Bound

Give yourself a timeline for achieving your goals. A timeline creates a sense of urgency and provides a deadline for reaching your goals. Having said that, make sure you give yourself enough time to achieve your goals rather than setting unrealistic deadlines that may lead to unnecessary stress.

Break Big Goals Down into Smaller Baby Steps

Large, long-term goals can seem daunting. To make your goals more manageable, break them down into smaller steps or tasks that you can work on consistently. This can help you progress towards your goals and feel accomplished.

Setting realistic goals is an important strategy for your personal and professional growth. To ensure your goals are realistic, identify your values and set specific and measurable goals that are attainable, with a sensible timeline that allows you to live a complete and mostly balanced life. And remember to be patient with yourself. Take time to celebrate your progress every step of the way. After all, that period when you’re doing the stuff to reach your goals is your life.

Reasons We Take Up Bad Habits

Have you ever found yourself engaging in a bad habit and wondering why you can’t seem to stop? Unfortunately, it’s common to fall into bad habits – whether procrastination, unhealthy eating, or neglecting self-care. In your quest for self-improvement, know that discovering and understanding the underlying reasons for these habits is the first step toward making positive changes.

Common Reasons for Taking Up Bad Habits

There are many triggers for taking up bad habits, but the following are among the most common.

Boredom: When bored, turning to unhealthy habits to pass the time or finding entertainment is not unusual. To overcome boredom-related bad habits, it’s important to find activities that are engaging and meaningful to you. This might involve taking up a new hobby, volunteering, or pursuing personal growth opportunities.

Stress: Stress is a common trigger for bad habits such as overeating, smoking, or procrastination. To overcome stress-related bad habits, the answer is to find healthy ways to manage stress such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.

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Need for validation: Sometimes, people form bad habits to seek validation or attention from others. To overcome this bad habit, you need to focus on your self-worth rather than seeking it from others. This might involve setting goals that align with your values, practicing self-compassion, or seeking support from friends and family.

Learned behaviors: Seeing family members or other role models engaging in bad habits can lead to imitation to fit in or feel accepted. When children see adults or peers engaging in certain behaviors, it makes it much more likely that they will imitate them.

Difficulty with self-regulation: People often turn to bad habits to cope with negative emotions or to avoid facing challenges. To overcome this bad habit, it’s important to work on self-regulation skills such as managing emotions, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed.

Lack of structure: When you don’t have a clear sense of purpose or structure, you might turn to unhealthy habits to fill the void. To overcome this bad habit, you need to create a sense of structure and purpose in your life, such as setting goals, creating a schedule, or finding activities that bring meaning and fulfillment.

As you can see, the main reason for developing bad habits is a lack of self-awareness and self-control. People often form bad habits to cope with difficult emotions, stress, or boredom. However, if a person is not aware of the habit, it will become a pattern that can be difficult to break.

Bad habits are challenging to overcome, but understanding the underlying reasons is the first step toward making positive changes. Identifying the reasons behind your bad habits, and finding healthy ways to cope, will help you take control of your habits and live a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember to be patient with yourself and take small steps towards change. With time and effort, you can create healthy habits that bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

Why Bad Habits Are Hard to Break

Bad habits are frustrating and difficult to break, but why are some so hard to shake? First, let’s explore why bad habits are so stubborn and what you can do to overcome them.

Your Life Is Out of Alignment

Bad habits often arise when something in your life is out of balance. Maybe you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or perhaps you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise. Whatever the case, when something in your life is off kilter, it can be hard to break a bad habit.

What’s out of alignment? Here are some common examples and what to do to fix it:

Sleep/energy levels – Make sure to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a balanced diet.
Stress/anxiety – Engage in stress-relieving activities such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
Time management – Create a daily routine and schedule tasks to maximize productivity.
Finances – Develop a budget plan and stick with it.
Relationships – Spend quality time with family and friends.
Work/life balance – Set boundaries between work and leisure activities so that you can rest and relax during off-hours.

It’s important to identify what might be out of alignment and work to fix it. To determine what is out of alignment in your life you may need to practice mindfulness by keeping a journal to help you figure out what’s not right for you.

For example, if you have low energy, is it due to your diet, sedentary lifestyle, stress, or anxiety, or is your time management needing some work? This requires brutal honesty about what you may be doing to cause this misalignment.

You Don’t Understand Why You Are Doing It

Sometimes, people engage in bad habits without really understanding why. Maybe you’re doing it out of boredom, to cope with negative emotions, or simply because it’s a habit you’ve always had.

It is difficult to address the issue without understanding the root cause of your bad habits so that you can make lasting changes.

Thankfully, it only takes a few steps that will allow you to get to the root cause of a bad habit:

Identify the habit
Track your behavior
Ask yourself hard questions
Act

Take the time to observe the bad habit so you can determine what exactly the bad habit is. Take notes when the habit occurs. Ask yourself why. Write down the situation or emotions you experience that triggers the habit. Ask yourself these hard questions to identify and understand any underlying causes, especially the payoff you get from performing a bad habit.

You Focus Only On the Goal, Which Overwhelms You

Breaking a bad habit is sometimes overwhelming. This is especially true if you’re focusing on the end goal rather than the steps it takes to get there. So instead of trying to quit a habit cold turkey, it is often more effective to focus on small, achievable steps.

For example, if you’re trying to stop procrastinating, try setting a goal to work on a task for just 15 minutes each day. You’ll be more prone to sticking to your new habit and making lasting changes by taking small steps that accumulate over time.

Bad habits are hard to break. However, by understanding the root cause of your habit, focusing on small, achievable steps, identifying what might be out of alignment in your life, and working to correct the issues, you are sure to overcome them and create lasting change.

Breaking Bad Habits: Planning for Setbacks 2.

Restart

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Don’t let a setback discourage or derail your progress entirely. Instead, use it as an opportunity to start fresh. Set a new goal and plan to achieve it. Don’t worry about how long it will take – just focus on taking small steps in the right direction.

Seek Support

It is helpful to have someone to talk to when trying to break a bad habit. A friend or family member who is supportive and understanding can encourage and help you stay motivated. You can also consider joining a support group or working with a coach or therapist to help you overcome your challenges.

Stay Positive

Getting discouraged during a setback is common, but staying positive and focusing on your progress is important. Remember that change takes time, and it’s okay to have setbacks along the way.

Planning for setbacks is an important part of breaking bad habits. You can overcome setbacks and progress towards your goals by forgiving yourself, evaluating what happened, restarting, and seeking support. So don’t get discouraged – keep moving forward, and you’ll live a better life through positive habits sooner than you think.

Breaking Bad Habits: Planning for Setbacks 1.

Breaking bad habits can be a challenging and often frustrating process. It can be easy to fall off the wagon and revert to old habits. But it’s vital to remember that setbacks are a normal part of the process and can be an opportunity for growth and improvement.

Here are several steps you can take to plan for setbacks and get back on track.

Forgive Yourself

It’s important to be kind to yourself when you experience a setback. Don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the mistake. Instead, recognize that it’s a normal part of the process and move on.

Take a Break

Sometimes a setback happens just because you’re overworking yourself. Often you can put things right by going for a walk or working on something else and coming back to the issue with a clear mind. Planning for frequent breaks will help you minimize the number of setbacks you experience.

Evaluate What Happened

Take some time to reflect on what led to the setback. For example, did you have a particularly stressful day that made it harder to stick to your habits? Did you get caught up in a social situation that made it difficult to resist temptation? Understanding the root cause and triggers surrounding the setback will help you develop strategies to prevent it from happening again.

Set Specific and Achievable Goals

Clear goals keep you focused and motivated as you overcome setbacks. Be sure to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). You can learn about this at almost any university website, like this one in Minnesota.

Be Flexible and Adaptable

Setbacks are a normal part of life. It’s vitally important to be flexible and adaptable in the face of them. If something isn’t working, be willing to adjust your plan and try something new.

Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Stress majorly contributes to setbacks, so it’s imperative to find healthy ways to manage it. Choose healthy options that are proven to work, like exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.

Don’t wait for things to get better to be happy

5.

“Don’t wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now, otherwise you’ll run out of time.” – Anonymous

Part of being human is having moments in life when we want more. We want to get to the next level and achieve something bigger, better and brighter.

In life, you shouldn’t depend your happiness on something you don’t have yet. It’s better to acknowledge the good that you already have in your life and focus on being happy and living in the moment.

That way, you’re sending positive vibes out into the Universe and attract that same positivity right back to you.

Don’t play the victim game

4.

Whenever you feel like things are crumbling and falling apart, it’s best not to play the victim game and blame others. Remind yourself that things are happening for you and not to you.

It’s easy to complain and play the victim game when life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, planned or expected. But acting that way will not magically make things better.

Instead, tell yourself that things happen for a reason.

It’s not the end of the road for you if your relationship ended, you lost your job and experienced other unfortunate things. Things may not make sense, but one day you’ll look back and realize that certain things didn’t work out because something better was meant for you.