Phoenix Education

More thoughts about goals!

Your No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Your Goals

Do you know how important setting goals is to achieving success at anything? Do you set goals? Are they effective? Do you have written goals? If you answered no these questions, you aren’t alone. Research has shown that 90 percent of people don’t have written goals.

Think of it like this. You go to the supermarket without a list. You roam the aisles, grabbing whatever catches your eyes. When you get home, you realize you’ve forgotten half the things you need. So now you must make another trip to the store. Not only have you wasted time, but money as well, on things you don’t need. Having goals without writing them down is like shopping without a list.

The one thing all successful people, whether they are an athlete, a business owner or someone who has lost weight and kept it off, have in common is that they set goals for themselves.

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Many people work hard but don’t seem to get anywhere. They feel as if they’re adrift, floating from one day to the next.

A key reason for this is because they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want in life, and they don’t set any formal goals. It’s like starting out on a trip without any idea of where you are going. It’s not a promising idea.

Goal setting is powerful. It puts you in the process of thinking of your ideal future and what motivates you to work toward that vision. Goals are your roadmap to your future.

Creating this goals roadmap is the process which helps you choose what you want in life, where you want to go and who you want to be. When you know precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you need to focus your efforts to achieve the result.

Having goals will help you quickly spot when you are going in the wrong direction or the distractions that lead you astray.

So how do you set goals that you can achieve and how can you avoid failure? That’s where this guide can help.

Welcome to the No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Goals report. This guide is designed to take you from floating through life to setting and achieving goals in a simple to understand, easy to implement format. Get ready – this guide will move you to set goals for change.

What you’re about to learn in this series of articles:

Why you need goals.
Why goals fail.
How to successfully set goals
Tips from the experts
How to follow through

Before we get to the heart of goal setting, we should look at more reasons why you need goals to succeed in everything you do.

Overcoming Perfectionism with a Growth Mindset

One of my pupils told me how she stays up late working at her Mathematics homework as she wants to get everything perfectly right. I told her to just enjoy life, watch TV, read a book, spend time with her friends and family – and to remember – we often learn best from making mistakes!

So I ask you – Is the drive to be perfect holding you back?

If so, you are not alone. In fact, the relentless pursuit of perfection may be more of a hindrance to your long-term growth than you realize. Fortunately, developing a growth mindset that focuses on continual improvement instead of constant perfection can help you navigate this journey successfully. With the right mindset and attitude, you can reap the positive benefits of wanting to excel without getting trapped by the unrealistic ideals of perfection.

Understand Why You’re Striving for Perfection

A suitable place to start is to look at why you feel compelled to be perfect in the first place. In many cases, the desire to be perfect is more than just wanting to do well. You’re seeking control over a specific situation, striving for the approval of others, or trying to boost your sense of self-worth. Whatever the motivation, recognizing what is driving that harsh inner critic is an important first step to overcoming it.

Address the Paralysis of Perfection

The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming. If you find yourself paralyzed by fear at the thought of failure, remind yourself that the best opportunities for growth and self-reflection often come from making mistakes. So, give yourself the freedom to “fail forward” from time to time and focus on acting, rather than achieving some idealized “perfect result” in every instance.

Embrace Your Imperfections

Giving yourself the freedom to be less-than-perfect doesn’t mean you have to lower your standards or not care about quality. Mistakes and flaws are a natural part of the learning process and every misstep you make will help you grow once you learn to embrace this mindset.

Try These Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism:

Set Realistic Goals: Start by setting achievable goals. Break larger tasks into smaller, more straightforward ones, and remember to celebrate the completion of each one.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that being imperfect is human and that self-criticism only hinders your progress.

Learn from Failures: Instead of berating yourself for mistakes, analyze them. What can they teach you? How can they help you grow?

Challenge Perfectionist Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking in absolutes, such as “I must be perfect,” challenge these thoughts. Remind yourself of the value of the journey, not just the destination.

Seek Feedback: Be open to constructive criticism. It provides an external perspective that breaks the cycle of perfectionism.

Remember, cultivating a growth mindset to overcome perfectionism is a continuous process, rather than a one-time thing. Each step you take on this journey brings you one step closer to a more productive and fulfilling life.

As you continue this path, you’ll find that letting go of the need to be perfect doesn’t mean giving up on excellence. Instead, it opens the door to a more balanced, joyous, and authentic life. Embrace your imperfections and watch as they help you find your greatest strengths.

Writing more – developing a growth mindset!

I have a couple of books on Amazon under my full name, concerning the crazy exploits of my heroine Fairy Hanny. They are adult humour…

Strange Things From Uranus

Trans-Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus

Inside me are several more books but I have been too lazy or procrastinating to keep working on them.

I have My Police Detective novels featuring Detective Inspector Hunter Flaange and DC Jason Belvoir – black humour, the dark side of life. Based on some real life events I have read about. Working titles so far are Death at the Dick Factory, The Phuket Incident and The Foreign Sick detective. All in draft form so far.

Plus there are my travel tales/diaries from the summer Spent as a farm labourer in Switzerland, The years in Almaty, China, Morocco, Azerbaijan… Oh the ladies…

I also have a couple of Young Adult book ideas – probably influenced by my teaching job in boarding schools, and Harry Potter!

So I found this article on growth mindset veryy useful.

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Cultivating a Growth Mindset for Success

Cultivating a growth mindset is key to achieving success in your personal and professional life. In addition, it plays a key role if you strive to become the best version of yourself. To reach and unlock your full potential, you’ll need to embrace some of the hallmarks of a growth mindset, including introspection and self-reflection, a passion for lifelong learning, and a commitment to long-term growth.

Here Are A Few Things to Keep in Mind as You Begin This Journey:

Embrace Challenges as Opportunities to gain experience!

To foster a growth mindset, welcome challenges as opportunities for learning and personal development. Rather than avoiding challenges, view them as opportunities to expand your capabilities, learn new things, and acquire fresh skills.

To approach and overcome challenges with a growth mindset, start by reframing your perspective. Instead of fearing failure, focus on the lessons you can learn and the new skills you can develop from each new experience.

Learn from Your Mistakes and Failures

Mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of any learning process. However, what sets people with a growth mindset apart is their ability to view these setbacks as opportunities for continual growth.

Adopt a constructive approach to extract valuable lessons from your mistakes and failures. When things don’t go as planned, don’t give up. Instead, look at the situation and determine what went wrong, what you could have done differently, and move forward from there. Remember, failure is not permanent. It’s just a temporary stop on the path to success.

Foster a Positive Outlook and Optimism

A positive outlook is closely intertwined with a growth mindset. Optimistic individuals are more resilient in facing challenges and persevere longer than their pessimistic counterparts.

Maintaining a positive attitude, even in the face of setbacks, is a skill that can be developed. You can cultivate it by expressing gratitude, directing your attention toward solutions instead of dwelling on problems, and by surrounding yourself with supporting and optimistic individuals. There are many benefits to this approach, including enhanced creativity, better critical thinking skills, and an improved outlook on life.

Seek Feedback and Constructive Criticism

Obtaining feedback is a fantastic way to gain fresh insight into your strengths and weaknesses and identify areas for improvement. For these reasons, it is an invaluable tool for your personal development and growth.

Don’t shy away from constructive criticism. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity to gain experience and grow. Listen closely and ask clarifying questions whenever necessary to get a clear picture of how you can use this information to get better results in the future.

Take Risks and Accept Discomfort

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a hallmark of a growth mindset. When you take calculated risks and accept discomfort, you open the door to new experiences and opportunities for growth. Start with small steps outside your comfort zone and gradually expand your horizons. The more you challenge yourself, the more resilient and adaptable you will become.

Cultivating a growth mindset is a transformative journey that can lead to lifelong learning and success. It is not a one-time thing or an overnight achievement, however. Instead, it requires an enduring commitment to your own personal development.”

10 Growth Mindset Affirmations

Now that I have decided to push past and out of my comfort zone I have been searching for some inspiration. A new starting point. Of course the internet is full of such advice.

So I found this list – any comments?

I welcome challenges because they help me learn and grow.

I can rise above whatever challenges and setbacks I face.

I can learn and adapt to any situation.

I can achieve what I set out to do.

I am the author of my own future.

I focus on progress, rather than perfection.

My future success is determined by the effort I put into achieving it.

Mistakes are not to be feared, they help me learn and grow.

I can develop the skills I need to succeed.

I am dedicated to becoming the best version of myself.

What’s Wrong with Staying in Your Comfort Zone?

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone we are used to. It’s what is familiar. It’s also the place where we are the most dissatisfied with our life.

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When we stay in our comfort zone, we are forcing ourselves to stay stagnant. We’re afraid to change for fear of what could happen. Our brains are trained to keep us safe, so we stay in our comfort zone instead of facing the unknown.

Staying in our comfort zone though can cause problems as well. Here are eight reasons it’s wrong to stay in your comfort zone.

Not reaching your goals. If you stay in your comfort zone, you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goals. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse keeps you from acting toward your goal.

Lack of growth. Staying in your comfort zone will keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never going forward and never growing and changing. You might end up not achieving your goals because you’re stuck on doing things the same way you’ve always done them, even when you’re not seeing any results. You don’t step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you can accomplish.

No or lost passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found outside your comfort zone.

Feeling left behind. When you stay in your comfort zone you will feel like you are being left behind your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career but because they stepped out of their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you push yourself to settle for less than you desire. You put your passion or things you love aside.

Your self-confidence lags. When you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to grow and take on new challenges.

Your health suffers. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you aren’t taking care of your health either. It can be from fear of going to the doctor, not wanting to change your routines, avoiding going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

You’ll be unprepared for changes. You are inflexible and set in your ways when you stick to your comfort zone. Life can be difficult, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want to. Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

The reasons we stay in our comfort zone are the same ones that we should be using to step out of our comfort zone. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s wrong to limit yourself to settling for mediocrity.

The Unknown: Where You Find Your True Self

You’ve heard the saying by Roy T. Bennet, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

It’s true that during the times you step outside your element, you experience who you really are. It’s about facing our fears and doing things we are enthusiastic about.

We often live our lives with the “I cannot,” “I don’t want to,” or “it’s too difficult” thoughts that keep us stuck and unhappy. It’s only until we realize that when we stop letting our negative thoughts control us, that we find our true self.

Stepping into the unknown is frightening, the place just beyond where we can see the outcome of doing it. That’s the part that makes our hearts pump faster, makes us break out into a cold sweat and yet, we yearn to see what’s there.

Staying in our comfort zone keeps us from stepping into that unknown. It keeps us secure and safe. Your comfort zone is the basis of your life now. It’s how you define who and what you currently are.

But what would happen if you stretched outside that zone? Would terrible things happen? Or would you suddenly be excited about life?

How do you know if you should step into the unknown? Begin by writing down ten things that don’t scare you and you do often. This could be things like traveling by bus, giving a public speech, or whatever it is that doesn’t scare you. It’ll be different for each person because we all have different comfort zones.

Describe how it feels to live within your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible using feeling words. How does it make you feel to be in your body, your mind, and your life?

Then ask yourself these questions:

Are there things you want to achieve but haven’t yet?
Are you dissatisfied with your daily life?
Do you want to achieve important things?
Do your goals and passions keep appearing, tugging at you?
Are there material or immaterial things you want that you don’t have?
Are you struggling with finding meaning in your life?
Are you feeling jealous of others who have achieved or done things you secretly want?

Once you’ve answered these questions, think about what’s keeping you from going after what you want. What makes you uncomfortable? Is it fear? Are you reluctant to take chances or make changes?

Write Down 10 Things That Scare You.

Now describe how it would feel if you were living outside your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible. Describe in detail how it feels, what you see, hear or where you are. Use images, color, or visualization to help you create your life.

Take your time with these steps. Once you realize what’s keeping you from stepping into the unknown you can begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone to get there.

Your life can be as fulfilling and exciting as you desire it to be once you step into the unknown where you find your true self.

Struggling to achieve your goals? Maybe your comfort zone is the reason.

We all have high aspirations. However, it can be hard to turn those dreams and goals into a reality. The truth is many of us struggle to reach our goals. The reason frequently involves our apprehension about step out of our comfort zone.

It’s true that nothing ever happens in our comfort zone. It’s the place that keeps us in the “someday” mode of pushing our goals to the side until the time is right, for another day or when you have more skills, money, and time.

Unfortunately, “someday” never happens. Eventually the life you dreamed of becomes a memory, a wish-I-would-have thought. Our fear of trying something different, putting ourselves out there and going for it keeps us from taking action. We let our comfort zone keep us safe.

Your comfort zone keeps you paralyzed from attempting what you desire. You may have goals and dreams but are afraid of the what-if’s that might happen when you do try. Instead, it’s safer to stay where you’re comfortable instead of getting hurt or humiliated by attempting your goal.

You’re afraid of speaking to a large group of people so you don’t go to the next level in your career, even though it is what you desire. You keep to yourself and stay in your current position instead where you’re comfortable.

You don’t go after your desire to start your own business because you’re afraid of failing. You stay in a job that you hate instead. You don’t try new adventures because you have an aversion to meeting new people and looking foolish. So, you stay at home in your comfort zone.

Some of the reasons you stay in your comfort zone might be from

Fear of the unknown, uncertainty

Anxiety over change

Negative mindset, pessimistic outlook

Lack of clarity and focus

Fear of failing (or succeeding)

No matter what it looks like, your comfort zone keeps you trapped. You stop advancing professionally. You don’t grow and develop personally. You eat the same way, live in the same place, drive the same kind of car, and associate with the same people.

Your comfort zone lets you willingly pass up important opportunities. Because of this, you might lose touch with your relationships, your health may begin to have serious problems, and you end up living a life of mediocrity.

Your unwillingness to act and step out of your comfort zone for whatever reason directly impacts your goals. If you are afraid to take the next step, and never do, you’ll stay where you’re at. If you worry about what will happen if you go for your goal so you end up not going for it, then you won’t ever reach it.

When you see yourself struggling to achieve your goals it’s often because you are stuck in your comfort zone. You are afraid of change, of doing things differently and being someone different.

Is Staying in Your Comfort Zone Holding You Back?

We’ve heard a lot about getting out of our comfort zone. But have you ever thought about why you should? Our comfort zone is where we feel in control and safe. It’s where we can predict what will happen and how we will feel. There won’t be any surprises with which we can’t deal.

So why would you feel compelled or even want to get out of your comfort zone? You need to do it because getting out of your comfort zone is the key to your personal growth and happiness. Stepping out of that zone helps you build up your self-confidence and the way you view yourself.

Is being there holding you back from living a fulfilled life and growing in our career?

The answer is yes. Being in your comfort zone and staying there keeps you from realizing and achieving what you desire. Staying safely within your comfort zone keeps you from being challenged and you don’t have to rise to any new occasions.

Here are three ways staying in your comfort zone is holding you back.

It’s keeping you from growing personally. When you are afraid of something, staying in your comfort zone keeps you from facing that fear. Then you suffer from it forever or until you do face it. You stay away from situations that would put you in a position of having to face fear to overcome it.

For example, your fear of public speaking keeps you from taking a job that requires you to speak in front of others, even though it’s a step up on your career ladder.

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2. Your comfort zone is keeping you from being happy. You struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. These problems can grow unless you take steps outside your comfort zone to begin addressing them. Stepping outside your comfort zone helps you build confidence in yourself and see yourself in a better light.

When you are confident and have good self-esteem, you are happier. For example, if you’re not confident in your abilities, you tend to stay in your comfort zone instead of trying something new. This drags down your confidence, making you feel less competent and making you unhappy.

3. Staying in your comfort zone can make you feel trapped and unhealthy. Often our comfort zone keeps us from doing good things out of fear. You might want to be more active, run a marathon, feel less aches and pains, and go on adventures. But to do any of these things means doing something that is outside your comfort zone. For example, you want to run a short marathon. It’s always been a dream of yours, but you procrastinate and make excuses. You’re too out of shape. You don’t have time. You’re too old. But the real reason is because you are afraid to get out of your comfort zone and begin training with a trainer. As a result, you continue to eat unhealthily, gain weight, lose muscle tone, and put your dream on the back burner until eventually, your health becomes a problem.

When we stay in our comfort zone, we are holding ourselves back from living a life we love, from being happy and from growing. We end up letting our fears rule and settling for mediocrity.

First thoughts on the Comfort Zone

Fear: The One Thing Standing in Your Way of Happiness

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” Dorothy Thompson

Imagine this: you are sitting on the beach watching the sunset as waves lap the sand as you bask in the glow. A book lies in your lap as you lose yourself in thought of how wonderful you feel at this moment.

Now imagine what the reality is: You’re dreaming of traveling to the beach, sitting on the sand watching the sun set. But instead of taking the steps to go, you feel fear. What if you’re needed in your job, by your family or any of your other obligations? What if the plane crashes? What if you get lost? What would happen if you let down your guard? What if…?

Living in fear keeps us from taking the risks and chances to go for what we truly desire. It keeps us from finding true happiness.

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Happiness isn’t defined by what you have; where you live; where you go; or the people you love. True happiness is a feeling. It’s something you feel deep inside about yourself and believe yourself to be. But to find it you must face the fears that keep you paralyzed.

When we have fears, we feel unsafe. Facing our fears and getting out of our comfort zone is hard because of how humans naturally expect the worst-case scenario. Our brains naturally send us negative information because it is trying to keep you safe.

So how can you live a life free of fear and be happy?

Everyone has fears. It’s normal. It’s how we react to them that makes the difference in how we feel. But you might find yourself weighed down with too much fear that’s preventing you from being happy. If that’s the case, it’s time to get familiar with your fears and find ways to work through them.

Here are four common fears and ideas to help you deal with them.

Fear of failure. This is a common fear, often stemming from our childhood. Fear of failing a test, for example. This fear brings on the feeling of being judged or embarrassed. Failing is part of success. Overcome this fear by not worrying about the outcome and only focusing on the process of getting to success.

Fear of success. This fear stems from many different fears: fear of change, responsibilities, attention, vulnerability, and many others. The best way to overcome this fear is to focus on one step at a time while moving forward.

Fear of rejection. The fear of being rejected is a reaction to our innate need for belonging. It can include fears of being judged, not being liked, or being alone. To overcome this fear put yourself out there, reminding yourself that the right people will respond to you favorably.

Fear of not being good enough. This fear is rooted in how we feel about ourselves. Our low self-esteem keeps us from not trying because of a lack of confidence. You can overcome this fear by starting small with things you know you can accomplish. Keep taking more steps to build your self-confidence.

We all have fears of some kind. They may seem rational to us but appear irrational to others. To overcome your fears, you need to understand why you have them and then face them so you can live a life of true happiness.

Comfort Zone Oman!

Well like I said, the start of 2023 was not the best. SO I quit the UK and came back to being a teacher in Oman. I am now living in what is best described as a 5 star resort at Hawana, Salalah, in the south of Oman.

Then suddenly I noticed 6 months have gone by and I am back in my comfort zone. I am comfortable. I have a lovely lifestyle, with money in the bank and every day sunshine.

Ths is great, though it is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I want to write more books, travel, fall in love again…

With that in mind I have researched and found a few articles on how to push outside our comfort zones. These articles are for me but if you enjoy them too then let me know.

Also if you want a smile have a look at these…

Strange things from Uranus

Trans-Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus