Phoenix Education

Successfully Setting Goals

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~Larry Elder

As you can see, failing at our goals is often a lot easier than achieving them. You might be asking yourself why bother setting goals if you are going to fail. You can successfully achieve your goals if you take a few steps to set up the right kinds of goals.

Those who succeed at reaching their goals all do certain things in common.

Believe in your goals. It doesn’t do you any good to create goals that you don’t believe you can achieve. Make them just out of your current reach.
Write your goals down. This is a powerful step. It’s the number one thing that helps keep you on track. Begin by writing down the big goal. Then break it down into smaller steps on how to reach your goal. Henriette Anne Klauser details this in her captivating book, Write It Down and Make It Happen. Writing down your goal means you are stating your intention and setting things in motion.
Commit to them. Do something towards achieving your goal every day. It doesn’t have to be a major step. Just do something. Maybe it’s drinking one more glass of water or walking an extra block.
Stay focused. Keep the number of goals you set at one time to less than 5. It’s difficult for anyone to focus on more than 5 items at one time. Don’t include several goals under each big goal. Instead focus on a few goals that you can repeat from memory.
Create “SMART” goals. This popular acronym that has been proven to work when setting your goals. They meet five specific criteria:
- Specific- the goal must identify exactly what you want to accomplish in a very specific way. Instead of a goal of, “write a book”, make it more specific like, “Write a book proposal for The Family Life Manifesto.”
- Measurable- the goal needs to have a measurable end result so you know without a doubt you have hit your goal. A goal of “earn more than last year” can’t be measured. A goal of “Earn $10,000 more this year than the last.” can.
- Actionable- your goal should start with an action. (run, finish, quit, earn) instead of a to be verb (be, have, am). Replace “Be more active” with “Run 2 miles every day.”
- Realistic- a good goal will stretch you out of your comfort zone but not be so unrealistic as to not be attainable in a reasonable amount of time. A lofty goal of “Qualify for the PGA Tour” might be better than “Lower my golf handicap by four strokes.”
- Time- the goal needs to have a specific date for completion. It can be a year-end date or a closer date. “Lose ten pounds” doesn’t have a specific time while “lose 10 pounds by August 31” does.
Plan of action. Once you’ve committed to a goal, create a plan of action to attain it. The best way to do this is the break the big goal into smaller steps. Work backward from the big goal to help you figure out what you need to do.
Review your written goals frequently. Review them on a regular basis to keep on track and to determine what your next step is. You can review them daily, weekly or monthly, whatever works best for you. Let your goals inspire you to fill your daily task list.

Goal-setting is not just helpful, it’s necessary to succeed in what makes you happy. Those who make consistent progress towards their goals are often happier and have more satisfied lives than those who drift through life. Successful goal setting is the guide that gets them to the end of their goal.

Why Goals Fail

Now that you know why you need goals, setting the right ones and meeting them can be somewhat of a problem. More often than not we fail to meet some of the goals we set for ourselves. There are several major reasons for this.

Vague goals that lead to setting the wrong priorities. Sometimes you manage to find time to do things that don’t add any value to your life and aren’t relevant to your goals. You might have a goal to write a book within a year. Instead of writing to reach that goal, you work on other stuff like getting pulled into Facebook or chatting on forums about something else.

If the goal is important enough for you, make it a priority to work on it.

Listening to the wrong people. Often we associate with those who steer us in the wrong direction for whatever reason. It could be they are afraid you will leave them if you succeed. Or maybe they are jealous of your ambition.
Our own selfish acts keep us from achieving our goals. Selfish acts such as not being willing to change a bad habit or thinking we deserve something without having to do the work.
We procrastinate. We make excuses. Lots of excuses. It seems it’s easier to come up with an excuse than a reason why we need to be doing something. We’ve all made them. They range from not having enough time to the full moon. We’d rather watch TV or put off doing something because it’s easier than tackling our goals. Excuses are just that: excuses and they keep you at a standstill.

Excuses often come about when we are afraid or uncertain of the outcome or the next step or what people will think. Or they happen when we are feeling lazy. We just don’t want to get out of our comfort zone and tackle what needs to be done to move us toward our goal.

Negative thoughts and fears. We grow our fears larger than we think of our abilities. Fear of failure (or success) kills dreams before they get to the first step. It’s often that we believe things won’t work out (or if they do, what will change), and this keeps us from working on our goals.

Fear robs you of self-confidence. It allows you to come up with reasons (excuses) why you can’t accomplish your goals.

Lack higher purpose. Your “WHY” is weak. You have to know what your goal means to you and why you set it. Are you chasing after something because it’s expected of you or to keep up with your peers?

If you set a goal for the wrong reason and spend time chasing after things you really don’t want, you lose your motivation to continue. You aren’t committed to them enough to achieve them and end up wasting time, money and energy. Instead figure out your “WHY” before you set your goals.

Working on too many things at once. Trying to do many different things spreads your attention too thin. It can keep us from developing our skills and expertise in an area we would thrive and be passionate about.

You need to discover what you are really good at and most driven to achieve and focus on it. Set goals to achieve success at that before you move on to something else.

Not having a plan. As the saying goes when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Having a plan is an essential part of reaching your goals. It’s the roadmap that gets you from point A to point B. Ask yourself how you plan to achieve your goal and what actions you need to take. Then use the answers to make a plan.

A plan is the steps you need to take to reach your goal. Use these to set your priorities for what you need to do and when you need to do each step.

Not responsible and lack of commitment to the goal. This is kind of like knowing what your “why” is. We’ve all done it. We start a diet with good intentions on Monday but by the end of the week we begin to cheat until we are completely off track.

You need to be fully committed to your goal to follow through. Excuses, friends and those donuts will always pop up when you least expect them to derail you or cause you to put off your goals.

Bad habits derail you. You have a habit of giving up when the going gets tough. It’s easier to just quit than to work through problems.

Your goal may require you to change the way you eat or to exercise more or work harder or put yourself in front of others. It’s easier to grab a bag of chips and sit on the couch or to pass the work on to someone else. Changing your bad habits is a necessary step in achieving your goals.

There are many reasons we seem to fail at goals. One of the biggest, of course, is the failure to set goals in the first place. Even an informal goal is better than none at all. Lack of action and following through on your goals often comes from fear. Recognizing your fear and committing to working through it will go a long way in reaching your goals.

Why You Need Goals

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.”– Fitzhugh Dodson

Almost all successful achievements begin with setting a goal. It’s the step that motivates you to take the first step toward what you want.

You probably know people who have a passive approach in life. They don’t set any goals. They just go through their life, day-by-day, doing the same thing from year to year. They don’t set a goal to achieve anything and that is exactly what they achieve.

To move you in a focused direction. Have a goal, especially one that is written down with a set date to accomplish it. Your goals represent your inner desires. Your inner desires are what motivate you in life. Goals are a constant reminder of why you are doing the actions you’re doing. They are the path that leads you forward.
Turn big dreams into small steps. A big dream can seem impossible to accomplish. It can be discouraging. But when you set goals the right way, you break those larger, more intimidating goals down into smaller, achievable steps. These smaller goals make it easier to see what you need to do each step of the way.
Hold you accountable. Having concrete goals and writing them down gives you a timeline for achievement. If you fail along the path, you have something to look to for re-evaluation. You might be humbled if you look back on goals you set for 6 months, a year or even 5 years ago only to see you were supposed to accomplish a lot more than you did. It’s a sign that you went off the path with a wrong turn. Having these concrete goals written down helps you see where you need to go and what changes you need to make to reach them.

Goals help us believe in ourselves. Goals are a way to fuel your ambition. Goals give you a plan for your life and hold you accountable as well as give you inspiration to aim for things you might have thought were impossible to achieve. For example, maybe you want to accomplish something many people only dream of. Setting a goal to reach that dream and the steps it takes to get there helps you see you progress.
Give you a picture of what you really want. More often than not, you have set goals that don’t really reflect what you really want. Maybe you think you need more money but what you really need is a change of environment. Or maybe you’ve set a goal to change jobs when what you really need is to work at something you can be passionate about. Having a vague sense of success keeps you from going after what you truly desire. Setting goals forces you to ask yourself what you really want and re-assess your goals as you gain perspective and self-reflection on what really makes you happy.

Finally, goals are necessary if you want to succeed at anything. They act as a map to guide you to what you truly desire, and hope to achieve in your life. You use goals to reach personal, spiritual and professional success so you are living life to the fullest.

Your No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Your Goals

Do you know how important setting goals is to achieving success at anything? Do you set goals? Are they effective? Do you have written goals? If you answered no these questions, you aren’t alone. Research has shown that 90 percent of people don’t have written goals.

Think of it like this. You go to the supermarket without a list. You roam the aisles, grabbing whatever catches your eyes. When you get home, you realize you’ve forgotten half the things you need. So now you must make another trip to the store. Not only have you wasted time, but money as well, on things you don’t need. Having goals without writing them down is like shopping without a list.

The one thing all successful people, whether they are an athlete, a business owner or someone who has lost weight and kept it off, have in common is that they set goals for themselves.

Many people work hard but don’t seem to get anywhere. They feel as if they’re adrift, floating from one day to the next.

A key reason for this is because they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want in life, and they don’t set any formal goals. It’s like starting out on a trip without any idea of where you are going. It’s not a promising idea.

Goal setting is powerful. It puts you in the process of thinking of your ideal future and what motivates you to work toward that vision. Goals are your roadmap to your future.

Creating this goals roadmap is the process which helps you choose what you want in life, where you want to go and who you want to be. When you know precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you need to focus your efforts to achieve the result.

Having goals will help you quickly spot when you are going in the wrong direction or the distractions that lead you astray.

So how do you set goals that you can achieve and how can you avoid failure? That’s where this guide can help.

Welcome to the No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Goals report. This guide is designed to take you from floating through life to setting and achieving goals in a simple to understand, easy to implement format. Get ready – this guide will move you to set goals for change.

What you’re about to learn in this guide:

Why you need goals.
Why goals fail.
How to successfully set goals
Tips from the experts
How to follow through

Before we get to the heart of goal setting, we should look at more reasons why you need goals to succeed in everything you do.

Goals

Here I am in Oman and it is the start of Ramadan. This is an opportunity to set some new goals and achieve them!

One of my current habits is to wander across to my favourite Bar/Restaurant and have a few beers, and sometimes order Prawn Noodles, which is one of the chef’s best dishes. I probably do this three or four times a week. As a result the muffin top has grown! And I want to get rid of it. Actually in England we call it a beer belly!

During Ramadan they are not allowed to serve alcohol, which is a bonus for me on my goal. Plus this year they have decided to shut down completely for renovations. So, my first goal is to lose weight – I am looking to shed between 5kg and 10kg – more would be a bonus. I think this is a reasonable goal and it is achieveable. I did it once before, though my lifestyle here has allowed the weight to creep back!

My second goal is to become more consistent with contributions to my blogs. I am starting here, with a series of posts about setting and achieving Goals!!! This is for my business blog ‘Phoenix Education’. My other blog is an outlet for my creative writing, and includes excerpts from my books, jokes, cartoons and funny real life stories.

So here we go – check out each day this week for more ‘Goals’.

End of the year

I know I’ve been away for a while. I had quite a health scare when I was on holiday in Turkey in August. It turns out my heart was damaged when I had Covid in 2021 when I was living in Azerbaijan. Fortunately, the hospital saved my life when they discovered my body had built up an excess of 7 litres of fluid in my ankles and lungs.

They saved my life with a week in ICU.

I found this post on Daily motivation website. It made me feel grateful for surviving the year.

“Even when things seem impossible and it feels like there is no way out, you have to hold the space for hope.

The idea of having faith in a reality that doesn’t yet exist may seem a little crazy.

But is it really that far-fetched?

So much potential lies in the void of the unknown.

Beautiful possibilities can emerge out of nothingness.

Be open to the likelihood of amazing experiences unfolding in many different, unexpected ways.

Beautiful surprises and powerful breakthroughs are waiting for you.”

Merry Christmas and have a fabulous New Year.

Micro-Habits You Can Start Today for a Happier Life

Ask anyone what they desire in life, and more often than not, the answer comes back as some variation of “be happier.” The pursuit of happiness has been around since time began, the topic being a discussion point since the days of Plato and Socrates.

Is happiness truly so hard to find?

Thankfully happiness is a lot simpler than most people think. By creating some new micro-habits in your life, not only will you be happier, but the people around you will likewise start feeling those same warm fuzzies. Where do you begin?

1. Start your day off right. When you wake up, think of something for which you’re thankful. By beginning in gratitude, you set your mind in a positive place before you even get out of bed.

2. Follow-up with a morning routine that inspires. Listen to a podcast over breakfast, read a chapter out of an inspirational book, listen to music that makes your heart soar, take time for yoga or meditation. Embrace whatever you need to do to launch yourself into the day feeling upbeat and inspired.

3. Stay in the moment. Rather than get caught up in the trials and tribulations of the day ask yourself where you are right now. Turn off the electronics and take a moment to breathe. Find that inner calm, and remind yourself that right now, right here, you are OK. Focus on what’s in front of you and let the future go.

4. Listen more. By taking the time to listen to what someone else has to say, both of you benefit. Listening is what leads to genuine intimacy and deeper relationships, and makes the person doing the talking feel a surge of happiness of their own.

5. Sharpen your saw. The old story goes that a man walking through the woods sees someone laboring mightily to cut down a tree. As he watches, he points out that the process would go much faster if the woodcutter were to sharpen his saw. The woodcutter replies, “I realize that, but I don’t have time to stop.” By stopping to sharpen your saw – resting and recharging – you’re capable of so much more later on. Take breaks that give energy back not only to your body but your mind.

6. Hang around, happy people. We’re affected deeply by the mood of those around us. By gravitating toward people who make us feel good, we help our mood.

7. Take care of yourself. It’s hard to feel happy if you’re not feeling well. Micro habits work particularly well here. Drink more water. Get up and stretch. Add more leafy greens to your diet. Whatever you choose, know that you’re benefitting more than your body, but also your mind.

There are many ways to find happiness. While you may start with this list, be sure to explore ideas of your own. Remember, you don’t have to do great big sweeping things to change your attitude – just practicing small micro-habits is enough to change your life positively.

The 3 Fundamentals of Self-Kindness

In talking about the importance of kindness, it’s easy to forget that you have to start with being kind to yourself. How does it feel to hear that? Maybe it makes you uncomfortable. After all, you were probably brought up to think of others first, to be unselfish, to put your own needs behind other people’s.

But having real compassion means that you treat yourself the same way as you would a friend who was suffering.

There are three fundamental elements of building compassion and learning self-kindness.

Letting go of self-judgment

Listen to your self-talk for a moment. How are you feeling about the whole idea of self-kindness? Many people have a negative mixtape inside their heads that is full of judgment and self-criticism aimed at themselves. A negative loop that uses words they would never dream of saying to other people.

Developing self-compassion means letting go of perfectionism. It means being okay with making mistakes and even embracing failure.

Self-kindness acknowledges that life is full of ups and downs and that going through hard times isn’t necessarily someone’s fault. By accepting the reality of life and letting go of self-judgment, you will find calm and understanding.

Accepting that it’s not just you

One of the worst aspects of going through a tough time is feeling that you’re alone in your suffering. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that being human means being imperfect and vulnerable. Bad times come and bad times go, and you’ll make it through. It happens to everyone because it’s part of the human condition.

So, take a deep breath, take a step back, and treat yourself gently until the storm has passed.

Seeking a middle ground

It can be tempting to fall into negativity when things don’t go your way. But try taking a mindful approach that acknowledges your feelings but doesn’t over-identify with them. Wallowing in your unhappiness or beating yourself up is unhelpful.

Mindfulness means taking a step back and observing what is happening without getting caught up in the emotions, or at the other end of the scale, trying to suppress or deny what you’re feeling.

Acknowledge your emotions and the situation you find yourself in, but also find some perspective. Consider what is happening in your life and compare your experience to what is happening in the world.

To develop genuine compassion, you must acknowledge your own pain and come from a place of acceptance for yourself so that you can offer it to other people.

5 Creative Ways to Calm a Chaotic Mind

Do you ever feel like you can’t escape your mind? Maybe it’s always spinning out of control, or perhaps you have a lot of thoughts. A lot of people experience chaos in their own minds, and this can make things difficult when you’re trying to work toward your goals. The next time your mind is filled with confusion, try one of these five creative ways to alleviate the stress.

1. Keep it Busy

There’s a delicate balance between keeping your mind busy without overcrowding it. It’s one thing to occupy your mind so it doesn’t wander, but it’s a whole different ball game when you start stressing out about endless to-do lists and information overload. Try to write 3-5 things you want to accomplish every day — and be sure to add at least one thing that is purely for fun. This will keep your mind busy without getting you too stressed.

2. Help Others

When was the last time you extended a helping hand to someone who needs it? Our brains tend to calm down when we’re in “helper mode” because the focus is on others rather than our own problems or stresses.

3. Pick up a Creative Hobby

We all have a creative side, whether it’s deep down or you’re continually flexing your creative muscles. Picking up a creative hobby gives your brain a nice, healthy break from the usual grind. Plus, it allows you to expand your intelligence with new forms of thinking. Win-win!

4. Care for your Physical Being

The mind and bodywork hand in hand a lot, so if you aren’t caring for your physical being, you may notice some stress going on in your head. Take time to care for your body — work out more, take a walk, draw a bath, or snooze your alarm clock. There are lots of ways to reenergize your body so that you can take on more in your mind!

5. Connect with Others

Helping others and connecting with other people are two totally different things, but both are essential aspects of cultivating an active, healthy mind. As humans, we need socialization. We thrive when we are part of a tribe. We crave human interaction time, so get out there and get social! Every laugh and bit of chatter will feed your mind in countless ways. Call a friend and have lunch in the park. It doesn’t have to be a big production, since the goal is simple human connection.

The 3 W’s of Reaching Any Goal

You have a goal in mind, but that’s all you have. Creating, working towards, and reaching goals is not easy. The journey is often different for everyone. However, there are three parts of achieving every goal that is always the same. Defining the 3 W’s of your goal will allow you to work toward it without losing sight of the big picture.

What

What do you want? What is your goal? You need to be specific: I want to run a half marathon. I want to write a novel. Explicitly, naming your goal and writing it out will give power to it and will allow you to mentally focus in on what you are trying to achieve. Clearly defined goals are easier to work towards. Writing out your target has the added benefit of making the goal “real,” as opposed to a foggy idea floating in your mind.

When

When do you want to achieve your goal? What is your timeframe? Once you have an overall time frame, you can dive into the milestones that you will need to hit along the way and put time limits on those. Doing this will give you benchmarks on which you can measure your progress. Measuring your progress in increments will also keep your spirits up when you are in the muck of the middle. You will be able to look back and say, “I’m halfway there.”

Why

Why is this your goal? Why do you want to do it? Your why is your everything. Your reasoning should be personal and not something you will be easily swayed from. If you’re going to run a half marathon merely for the glory, you may want to dig a little deeper. Running a half isn’t easy, and in the middle of every training session, it will just be you and your legs. Having a strong why will also come in handy when you lack external support. Having a reliable support system of family and friends makes achieving any goal easier, but sometimes you won’t have that backing.

You have your what, your when, and your why. Write down each of these and revisit the W’s when times get tough. You should especially revisit your why daily. It will remind you why you started, why you are continuing, and what awaits you at the end of your long journey. Setting and achieving goals is not for the weak of heart, but if your heart is in it, the process will be much less daunting.