Can a Pessimist become an Optimist?

While some individuals are born with sunny dispositions, others are more prone to negative outlooks. Many factors come into play:

  • Childhood experiences
  • Temperament
  • Environment
  • Economic status
  • Genetic predisposition

While these are all valid reasons as to why one person might be more positive and optimistic than another, there is one factor which may have the power to transform those reasons – the power of choice.

Optimism as a Choice

Given a set of negative circumstances, some with a negative mindset might view this as an all or nothing, catastrophic event. However, those individuals with a positive, optimistic mindset might feel the impact of the negative circumstance, evaluate their choices, and then go on to make the best decision in their control. Those with positive mindsets of optimism are more apt to also choose a more constructive and useful attitude.

While we may not be able to change our circumstances, we can change our reaction and attitude toward those very same circumstances.

How a Pessimist can become More Optimistic

Brain Training

While changing any part of our personality is never an easy task, it is doable. An individual must want it though. Chances are, telling a pessimist he/she can change their outlook and change their life will most likely be met with some cynicism. After all, it’s a pessimist we are talking about; however, if someone makes the decision on their own – say perhaps seeking to find his/her purpose in life or finding more joy – there is certainly more of a chance of success.

Through practice and some brain training techniques, a pessimist can most certainly become more optimistic.

Focus

What a person focuses on expands. Constantly focusing on what is wrong and what does not work is a surefire way to get more of the same; situations where just about everything can and does go wrong. There are plenty of positive circumstances in life to focus on:

  • What does go right in your life?
  • Counting your blessings
  • What do you have to be grateful for?
  • What does work?

Perception

When faced with adversity, is there some semblance of a silver lining within that circumstance? Can a pessimist view an ending as a beginning or as a lesson learned? Can a pessimist find the deeper meaning instead of looking through a negative lens?

Internalizing

While an optimist views the proverbial glass as “half-full” and a pessimist views the glass “half-empty,” what if a pessimist did not internalize circumstances as personal to themselves? In other words, what if something happened simply because it happened and not because the pessimist has “bad luck?” Moving away from the woe-is-me way of thinking opens the door to a broader view and removes the unfortunate situation as having any meaning to the pessimist themselves.

Storytelling

Another way a pessimist can move away from negative thinking is to tell themselves and others different stories. Instead of seeing only the story surrounding the circumstance as all black (for example, a pessimist might say they have no luck, everything always happens to them, everybody else gets to get what they want), a pessimist can opt to see it in black and white. Something happened because something happened – no story attached.

Changing the focus and perception along with not internalizing and telling a new story, a pessimist is able to see the glass as half-full and have a life full of optimistic results.

Taking Action, Even When You’re Scared to Death

Fear is a normal emotion. Sometimes, it can be beneficial because it makes you aware of risks, keeps you alert, and improves mental focus.

However, too much fear will have the opposite effect.

Don’t fret as even the most successful people experience this feeling. The key is to prevent it from dictating your actions.

The Many Shades of Fear

This human emotion isn’t all black and white. Fear can take many forms, from mild anxiety to downright debilitating overthinking. Under certain circumstances, it can protect you from danger and stop impulsive behaviors. And, because it’s closely tied into your gut instinct, it can also help you improve your decision making.

Not all types of fear are good for you. In fact, this emotion often does more harm than good. It can keep you from reaching your full potential, fuel procrastination, and cause stress.

Let’s say you want to quit your 9-to-5 job and start a creative agency or work as a freelance web designer. You might be afraid that you’ll lose time and money if things don’t work out as you planned. What if you won’t have enough clients? Or what if you get sick and can’t work anymore?

The risks are real, so it’s normal to experience fear. However, you’ll never know what you’re missing if you don’t try. Who knows? You might have a huge success and build a loyal customer base. Five years from now on, you could have enough money to buy the home of your dreams.

Do you want to live your life wondering What if?

How to Conquer Your Fear

No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to get rid of fear completely. Instead, you should make it your ally.

Picture yourself reaching your goal, whatever it is. Imagine the worst-case scenario and then come up with a backup plan.

Ask yourself: what are the facts?

Am I making assumptions?

What’s the best thing that can happen?

Who can I call for help?

Use your fear as a source of guidance. Assess your inner fears and seek possible solutions. Using our example above, you could start a web design side hustle in addition to your regular job. This way, if your business fails, you’ll still have an income. If it keeps growing, turn it into a full-time job. With this approach, you’ll get to do what you want and mitigate risks.

Simple Ways to Overcome your Fear of Taking Massive Action

Do not fault yourself for being afraid of taking that big step–the massive action that needs to happen to realize your dream! It is a natural response to moving out of your comfort zone. And while you should not rebuke yourself for feeling fearful, neither should you wallow in it so that you never get past it. When fear rears its ugly head, use these simple tactics to put it in perspective and move on.

Recognize fear is only a feeling

Fear can feel very, very real. It is only an emotion that survives and thrives when we dwell on it and start to believe it. The first step in mastering your fear of taking massive action is to remember to tell yourself that fear is not real–that it is only a feeling that cannot hurt you.

Remember, everyone has experienced fear of failure

Everyone experiences fear before they try something new. Think Tony Robbins has not experienced fear of failure? Sure, he has, and I am sure he would tell you that himself. Everyone has experienced fear of failure, the fear of looking like a fool, the fear of losing friends when you become too famous, too wealthy, too thin, or whatever. When a moment of panic comes over you, image your role model and remember that they too have experienced fear. They moved through it anyway.

Take the first small step

We have all heard Newton’s 1st Law of Motion:

A body at rest tends to stay at rest, while a body in motion tends to stay in motion, unless acted upon by an external force.

Notice that feeling of fear, and then take that first small step despite it. You will feel amazing after you have done that one little thing. You will realize that you can do it, and you will be excited to take that next step. Fear will be replaced by enthusiasm!

Use a lifeline

Sometimes we recognize fear for what it is and cannot seem to get over the hurdle anyway. That is the right time to call in some reinforcements.

Get hold of a friend, colleague or family member who is totally on board with your goal.

Buy them a cup of coffee and talk to them about your feelings. Use them as a sounding board, ask for their advice or just come on out and ask for a pep talk! This person loves you and has faith that you can achieve your goal, so you do not need to worry about being embarrassed to tell them that fear has you in a paralyzing grip! They will support you through each step you take; sometimes all we need is to hear a person we love and admire tell us it will be all right.

6 Tips for Getting a Grip on Self-Doubt

Did you know that a whopping 85 percent of people have low-esteem? This issue affects their personal and professional lives, including their careers, their health, and their salaries. In other words, self-doubt and low self-esteem can keep you from reaching your peak potential.

These personality traits appear to be more common among women. They develop in childhood and either exacerbate or diminish with time. If self-doubt plagues you, check out these tips to boost your confidence and trust yourself more:

Accept Yourself

Self-doubt is part of being human. Embrace it and turn it into a strength. When used correctly, this personality trait can help you make better decisions, instead of rushing things. Think of it as a tool that guides your actions and keeps you from making costly mistakes.

Just make sure you don’t overuse it though because self-doubt can also make you question your sanity and decision-making abilities.

Know You’re Not Alone

Even the most successful people have doubts. They often question their actions and wonder what the right thing to do is.

Focus on building your confidence and self-esteem. You might never get rid of doubts, but you can stop them from taking over your life.

Get the Facts

Your doubts don’t necessarily reflect the truth. Most times, they mirror your fears and emotional struggles. Think about your achievements and how hard you worked to get where you are today. Be proud of yourself and admire your capabilities.

Whenever you’re in doubt, get the facts straight. Research the problem in question, weigh the pros and cons and ask for a second opinion.

Acknowledge Your Strengths

Make a list of things you excel in. Write down your skills and accomplishments. Accept praise from others gracefully and acknowledge your talent.

Celebrate your strengths every single day. Make positive affirmations and remind yourself how much you’ve done so far. Stop thinking of what you could have done better.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Negative people can drag you down and ruin your self-esteem. Nothing will ever be good enough for them. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive people who support you and listen to you instead of judging.

Define Your Values

Lastly, define your values and the values you live by daily. Once you establish those, you will have a more realistic perspective of the current situation. Focus on the things that drive your actions and are at the core of your beliefs.

Overcoming self-doubt is a lifelong process. Stop questioning your own decisions. Don’t waste time over-analyzing – trust your actions and put your plans in motion.

Declutter your mind!

Clutter – a collection of things lying about in an untidy state.

No matter how neat and tidy you naturally are, it’s all too easy for clutter to pile up in your home. There’s mail, books, school supplies, tax forms, and so many other odds and ends — plus, the items you use all the time that never seem to get put away. Fortunately, there are simple ways to stop clutter in its tracks.

One of the things you notice when you start decluttering is how so much of the clutter in your house reflects the clutter in your mind.

If you’re hanging onto to clothes that don’t fit, or the ugly vase your mother gave you for Christmas or the exercise bike you might get around to using, you don’t just have a problem with too much stuff.

You have a problem letting go.

Chances are you’re also hanging onto a whole bunch of bad feelings, ill-founded assumptions, old grievances and future worries.

If it feels good to declutter your house, it feels even better to declutter your mind.

Here are some useful expert tips to make some space in your mind.

Use some meditation techniques


You don’t have to do the full sitting on a cushion in a darkened room thing to benefit from meditation techniques. If you’re feeling overwound, some simple breathing techniques can help you calm down and focus. For a few minutes, focus only on your breathing and nothing else. If your mind wanders or gets back into the worrying groove, you must put that aside and come back to focus on your breath.

Write it down

It can help to write down anything that’s on your mind. Once all those worries are down on paper, you can prioritize them and work out a plan to deal with them. You can also assess them to identify what’s essential and what isn’t. When you can see what’s important, you can focus your energy and free up some of that mental space!

Stay in the present

Brooding over the past and worrying about the future take up a lot of space in your mind and achieve precisely nothing. Let go of regret over past mistakes or resentment of past slights and move on. Keep your focus on what you can influence right here, right now.

Do one thing at a time

Multitasking is not only overrated (it’s very inefficient), it also leads to greater anxiety, and you never do any one thing properly. Focus on doing things methodically and thoroughly. As you finish one task, move onto the next.

Control all the incoming data

We talk about being available 24/7 and the 24-hour news cycle, but there is only one person who can control that. You. You can choose to switch off your computer, smartphone, and tv and control the amount of data your brain is trying to process.

Summary

Decluttering your mind will pay off in all sorts of ways you hadn’t imagined. You will be more productive, less stressed and more motivated. Let me know if these ideas have helped you in any way.

Pick yourself up!

“Life is what happens while you’re making plans”

I’ve seen this quote attributed to John Lennon, amongst others. And it is true!

As we entered the new year I was really pushing hard. I updated my Book “Strange Things From Uranus” (find it on Amazon) and developed more of my understanding of Internet Marketing. I bought a franchise in a site in the UK called Days Out in Leeds, which offers information on Places to go for entertainment… but governments have sanctioned entertainment out of our lives.

I have been lucky over the last decade in that I have chosen to take my skills as a Maths and Science teacher around the world.

I have spent time in Qatar, Abu Dhabi, Oman, China, Kazakhstan, Gran Canaria, Morocco and England. While based in those places I have also managed trips to Thailand, Cyprus, Crete, Hong Kong, Spain and more.

Then in March – well the rules of the game disappeared.

I kept this blog going until the end of June then moved house and went without internet for a month. Don’t get me wrong; I moved to a great house a few minutes walk to the beach in Dar Bouazza, just to the west of Casablanca. I have a south facing first floor terrace where I can sit in the sun and read all day (until I burn).

As we rolled into August I realised I had lost my motivation. Spending a couple of hours scheduling a weeks worth of blog post just seemed too much of a chore. Cycling and Hiking through Bouskoura Forest became more of a buzz; and great for my health. In the end I had to go back and teach myself some motivation and time management techniques by reviewing one of my own courses!

Just last week my teaching job ended as a result of changes due to Covid – people have lost businesses and can’t afford school fees. I was fine with that. I have just enough coming in to allow me to stay here for a few months while I work on business.

Life doesn’t sit still.

I got an offer to go and teach Physics in Baku, Azerbaijan! Not just teach Physics for students who want to enter University, also to teach teachers!

So in a few weeks I will be out of Morocco and starting a great new adventure on the banks of the Caspian Sea.

“Life is what happens while you’re making plans.”

Final Tips on Productivity

I hope you have enjoyed this series of articles and they have given rise to some improvement in the way you plan and organise your work.

Being disorganised may have many different connotations linked to it and finding out which ones are contributing to these negative behaviours can sometimes help to eradicate or at the very least control the urge to be disorganised.

People who are frustrated with their lives are often the ones who are also very much disorganised. Linking both these factors together has been proven to produce the expected results of negativity.

Not having the moral commitment which simply equates disrespect for others, their time and their commitments is another prevalent issue behind not wanting to be more organised in one’s own undertakings.

Look deep into your heart and be aware that generally, people who are selfish fail to develop this moral commitment trait and continue to assume everyone will be accommodating and forgiving of their follies.  

The popular saying that time waits for no man is so true and being disorganised is one way of ensuring failure at every turn. When the element of being disorganised is ever present there is little or no opportunity to be able to focus and identify needs and wants according to their priorities and thus allowing a lot of confusion into one’s daily existence.

https://phoenixeducation.thinkific.com/courses/improve-time-management

Count That Day Lost – George Eliot

If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went —
Then you may count that day well spent.

But if, through all the livelong day,
You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay —
If, through it all
You’ve nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face—
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost —
Then count that day as worse than lost.