Phoenix Education

My plan for the week

Meditating Your Way To A Happier You

Stress is such a buzz kill. Nothing will bring you down quicker than feeling stressed out. It keeps you from sleeping well, staying productive, and getting in a good mood. It only makes sense than that reducing stress increases happiness. One of the best ways to bring your stress levels down and increase your joy is to mediate.

In addition to reducing stress and increasing happiness, meditation is good for your help, helps you practice self-awareness, and it strengthens your concentration. If you are new to meditating, let me give you a quick primer on this ancient technique of clearing the mind.

Meditation is a state of thoughtless awareness. It is reached by practicing meditating, until we can reach that state of mind easily and effortlessly. Along the way meditation will help us concentrate, contemplate, and gives us more control over our mind and our thoughts.

There are all sorts of diverse ways to practice mediation. Some will have you focus on your breathing; some will have you focus on your body. You can practice in complete silence, while listening to white noise or soft music, or you can work through guided meditations.

If you are new to meditating, a simple guided meditation may be your best bet. There are plenty of recordings online, on YouTube, and even on apps. Some of them will be free, while others are paid guided meditations. Listen to a few of them until you find a mediation with which you are comfortable.

If you want to just try this without downloading or buying any guided meditations, give this basic meditation exercise a try. Start by laying down comfortably on your back. Have your hands on the side and relax. Close your eyes, and breathe naturally. Notice how the breath moves your body and try to focus on mind on each exhalation and inhalation. If you mind starts to wander, bring it back to your breath. Aim for a few minutes of meditation to begin with. Do not feel bad if you find yourself nodding off. Meditation can be very relaxing and a wonderful way to help you get to sleep.

With practice you will be able to mediate for longer periods of time. Experiment with techniques and lengths of mediation until you find your own routine that reduces stress, increases happiness and is something you can stick with for the long run. Keep meditating to keep up your happiness levels.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Giving Back Makes Us Happier

When I was a kid, I could not wait for Christmas. It was all about the presents I would get. I would spend days and weeks anticipating and trying to guess what Mom and Dad would get me this year. I would make wish lists and circle things in toy catalogues. It was all about receiving material things.

As I have grown older, that has changed a bit. Do not get me wrong, I still appreciate a thoughtful gift, but to be honest, most the fun at Christmas for me know is giving gifts. I find joy in the process of finding just the right gift, putting it in a pretty wrapper, and then seeing the eyes of the recipient light up when they open their present. And, of course, there is nothing more fun than watching the little ones squeal with delight on Christmas morning as they open the gifts under the tree.

There is an important lesson to be learned here and that is that giving makes us happier. It is not just about physical gifts. Anytime we can give something, be it our time, a kind word, sound advice, or a hug, it makes us feel good to give back. Giving increases our own happiness.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

It only makes sense then to focus on giving back more to help lead happier and more fulfilled lives. Think about the various things you can do to start giving back more. Volunteering is a wonderful place to start and there are so many opportunities to do just that. You can help at your child’s school or at the local church. Homeless shelters and soup kitchens are always grateful for an extra pair of hands. If you are good with animals, help your local humane society to walk dogs and socialize kittens. Reading to patients at the hospital or people in a senior living facility is another wonderful way to give up.

If you are not able to get out of the house much to volunteer, there are still plenty of opportunities to give back. If you are crafty, knit some preemie caps for your local hospital or sew up some pet blanket for a local no-kill shelter. Help organize online events, or offer to virtually tutor kids who need homework help.

Start volunteering and giving back and notice how good it makes you feel. It instils a sense of pride and purpose in you and that in turn will help increase your overall happiness. Giving back to your community and family is a wonderful feeling that I hope you get to experience more.

Think & Communicate In Positive Ways

Some people are great about finding the positive in any situation and telling you about it. They are the types of bosses, co-workers, teachers, and friends who will give you some constructive criticism while pointing out everything you have done right, even if the project or situation turns out to be a total mess. They are the people that build you up and give you the confidence boost you need to go back and fix things or start from scratch.

Then there are people who cannot give a compliment without also pointing out your shortcomings. They tend to focus on the negative in any situation and are quick to share that with you. These people can be hard to live and work with. The big question is what type of person you are and how do you think and communicate about your life and your surroundings.

If increased happiness is your goal, I suggest you work on making sure you think and communicate in a positive way. Why is thinking important? Because it is how we communicate with ourselves. I do not know about you, but I would much rather spend my time becoming my biggest cheerleader, than my worst critic.

Here is the good news. How you think and how you communicate can be learned and unlearned. That means if you are a bit of a pessimist right now, you can learn to think, be, and talk in a more positive way. Of course learned behaviours and habits are not always easy to change. Step one is that you must want to change. Step two is to learn to recognize your behaviour as it happens. Listen to the thoughts that are happening in your head and stop and make yourself think before you speak. Step three is to practice the new habit and behaviour. And that is really all there is to it.

Take a few minutes to reflect on how you have been thinking today. Think back on conversations you have had with others and get a feel for how you communicate with yourself and others. Are you as positive as you would like to be, or is there room for improvement. If so, start implementing the simple three step process I shared with you and keep practicing until this more positive way of thinking and communicating has become a strong new habit. It will have a significant impact in your own happiness and that of those around you.

Live In the Moment

One of the fastest way to stop any feeling of happiness in its track is to worry. We worry about things that have not happened yet, and we worry about things in the past that we can do nothing about. It is sad to think about how many happy moments we are missing out on because we are too worried about the past or the future.

One of the solutions to living a happier and more content life is to learn to live in the moment. You do not want to miss all the amazing little things life has in store for you because you are too busy worrying and agonizing about things that are outside of your control. The goal then for a happier life is to learn to live in the moment.

Start by simply paying attention to what is going on around you right now. Enjoy the people you are spending time with. Treasure the conversations and interactions you have with them. Look around you and notice the beauty in your surroundings. Each season brings new natural phenomena that can help you stay in the moment and make you happy. Notice how the light filters through the colourful leaves on a crisp fall day. Treasure the first few green sprouts at the end of winter. Laugh with your kids and play in the first snow of winter. Bask in the sun and look at how the light plays over the water on a sizzling summer day. Each day, each season, and each year has amazing treasures to offer if you take the time to stay in the moment and notice them.

Slow down and do not be afraid to stop and smell the roses. If you find yourself slipping back into your old ways of worrying about things you cannot change, remind yourself to stop and instead focus on something pretty in your surroundings. It does not matter what it is. The idea is to train your mind to live in the moment instead of the past or the future.

Does this mean you have to stop all plotting and planning for the future? Does it mean that you should not look back on the past and learn from it? Of course not. Those are both important parts of life. There are times to plan a vacation, figure out what groceries we need for the week, or plot a move or job change in the future. Those are productive ways to look ahead. Along the same lines, there are times when we should look back on the past. Maybe we can right a wrong, improve on things, or if nothing else learn from them. That is important as well. What is not important or productive is to dwell on the past or future events and worrying about things we cannot change. Whenever that happens stop yourself and focus on the present. It will not take you long to get out of the habit of worrying about things outside of your control. That, in turn, gives you more time and energy to focus on what truly matters.

Learning To Deal With Negative Thoughts and Emotions

Life is not all happiness and sunshine. And that is a good thing. How boring would it be to only have positive experiences? We need the negative, the sadness, and the disappointments to balance the happiness. They are what make the happy times stand out and shine all the brighter.

Negative thoughts, emotions, and the events and people that cause them are part of life. We must learn to deal with them and make the best of sad situations to live a happy and content life. Today I want to look at a few different ideas and strategies that can help us do just that.

Put Them In Perspective

Before you allow yourself to wallow in sadness, try your best to step back and look at the situation from a distinct perspective. Get some sleep, go out for a walk, and come back and look at it again. Try your best to see the positive side of things. Yes, there are undeniably sad and bad situations in our lives, but even so, most of them have a little flicker of something good in them as well. Find that positivity and hang on to it.

There are also a lot of times and situations where we focus too much on the negativity. A little distance, and a little perspective can show us that it is not as bad as we originally thought.

Allowing Yourself To Be Sad At Times

There are also times when life just plain sucks. It is ok to be sad. Do not feel that you must be happy 100% of the time. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to take the time to be sad and grieve. There is a lot of healing and coming to terms with things that can only happen when you let the sadness in. Feel it, so you can start to heal and recover. This will allow you to get back to the happier version of yourself.

Look On The Bright Side And Find Your Way Back To Happiness

To make sure that happens and you do not spiral down into a hole of sadness, despair, and depression, you must look for the right side, or the little flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. Look for it, focus on it, and use it to find your way back to happiness. Maybe that little flicker of hope is simply that you are not feeling quite as sad as you did yesterday. Or maybe it is a call from a friend, or a neighbour dropping off a card. Grab on to it and use anything good and positive in your life to lead you back.

Keep A Journal To Practice Gratitude And Happiness

We have talked in the past about the fact that feeling grateful and acknowledging all the good things in our lives is a fantastic way to increase our overall happiness. Getting in the habit of showing and experiencing more gratitude is a one of the most powerful ways to increase your feeling of happiness.

It is all good and well to resolve to feel more gratitude and become happier. Putting it into action is a little harder said than done. Thankfully, there is a simple little tool that will help you stay on track – a journal. A gratitude journal is a wonderful thing and something that can have a surprisingly big positive impact on your life. Best of all, you do not need anything fancy. Grab a notebook and a pen, or if you prefer, boot up your computer and open a word document.

The idea is simple. Each day you want to write for a few minutes about the various things you feel grateful for. Think back on anything that made you happy throughout the day. By listing all the positive things in your life, you are putting them into the forefront of your mind. That alone is bound to increase your mood and make you feel happier and more accomplished.

Not only will your writing help you right away, as you compose each daily entry, but you are also creating a great memento of your gratitude and happiness journey. Pull out your journal, curl up on the couch and read it whenever you need a little boost of happiness. Seeing, in black and white, how far you have come throughout the past weeks, months, and even years is amazing.

As you start to read about the events and people that you felt grateful for in the past, you are start to relive those memories, and with it those feelings. Think of your gratitude journal as a happiness battery. You are storing your good feelings in an easy format that allows you to access and relive them on demand. What a powerful idea.

In addition, writing and reading your gratitude journal regularly will help you form new positive habits. You will start to have a more positive outlook in life, and since the journal forces you to think of and find the things and people you are grateful for in any given day, your brain will automatically start to look for the positive instead of the negative. It is easy to see how that can have a beneficial impact on your life over time.

If you are ready to practice gratitude and work on increasing your happiness, start writing a journal. You will not regret it.

Keep A Journal To Practice Gratitude And Happiness

If you are ready to practice gratitude and work on increasing your happiness, start writing a journal. You will not regret it.

When All Else Fails, Fake It

Here is an interesting expression: “Fake It ‘Till You Make It.”

You usually hear it in the business and show business world. The idea is that if you look like a success, others around you will treat you like a successful person and will send more projects and opportunities your way. At some point, the idea is that you can stop faking it because you have become what you have pretended to be. It sounds a little harsher than it is. Faking in this context is not as phony as it sounds. What you are really doing is modelling behaviours until you have internalized them. Once that happens, you will start to see results, because you have been working hard at exactly the types of things a successful person does. It only makes sense then that you start to see results.

The interesting thing is that this works in all sorts of different contexts. If you want to be a thin and fit person, start acting like one, eating the things they eat, working out, moving around more etc. After a few months of doing that, it is no wonder that you are starting to slim down significantly.

Since happiness is on my mind a lot during this project, I did a little research to see if the same concept could also work for feelings – including increasing a feeling of self-worth, wellbeing, and of course being happier. The good news is that it does. You really can fake happiness until your mood improves.

How To Start Faking Happiness

Faking happiness is a lot easier than you may think. You can start with nothing more complicated than smiling. A fake smile will do in a pinch, but if you can get your entire face, including your eyes involved. Give smiling your best effort, even if you are not feeling it.

After a bit of smiling, you should feel your mood start to increase. Remind yourself throughout the day to smile more for best results. When you are ready to kick it up a notch, try laughing. Again, if there is nothing funny going on, just start giggling and laughing. It has a profound impact on the body. Not only will it instantly lift your bad mood and make you feel happier, laughing has also been shown to increase your body’s ability to heal and it will improve your immune system.

Try it and start practicing faking happiness. You can smile and laugh at yourself in front of the bathroom mirror in the mornings. Then try to smile more and laugh often as you go about your day. Not only will you notice your own happiness levels increase, but you will also have influence on those around you.

Make It A Point To Make Someone’s Day

Here’s an interesting exercise for you. Head out to do your errands, drive to work, or get to school and make it a point to make someone else’s day today. It could be something as simple as giving someone a big smile, have a meaningful conversation with a person who’s feeling a little lost or lonely, or it could be buying lunch for the homeless person on the corner. It doesn’t matter what you do, but do something today to make someone else’s day.

How does that make sure feel? It’s a pretty good feeling isn’t it? It seems that a big key to our own happiness lies in making people around us happy, and helping. When you start to think about it, it makes sense, doesn’t it? We are social creatures who must work together to truly thrive. It is only logical then that helping those around us has an internal rewards system built in. In other words, our happiness goes up as we improve the lives of those around us.

A great strategy then to increase our own happiness is to cheer up those around us. Not only will it help make you feel better and happier, but you also must increase your own happiness and put that big smile on your face to be able to make someone else’s day. It’s hard to do this kind of stuff when you’re feeling sad and depressed. But those are the times you need to force yourself to do it the most. By simply doing that, you make your own mind increase the happiness you feel and that gets mingled with a feeling of pride for helping someone else.

As with many of the other strategies we’ve been discussing about increasing your happiness, the key to making this work is to make it a habit. If it becomes well ingrained in your daily routine to make someone’s day as you go about living your life, you’ll automatically start to do it, even when (and especially when) you don’t feel like it. As you well know those are the times when you particularly need to do something to increase your own happiness and give yourself that little extra boost.

Start by thinking about a few different little things you can do to make someone’s day. It doesn’t have to be anything big or complicated. Instead focus on small acts of kindness that you can do every single day. Bless your loved ones with this kindness, or complete strangers who look like they could use a little cheering up. Help someone unload groceries, fix a meal for a neighbour who just had a new baby, or bring your spouse coffee in bed when he or she is having a hard time. All these small acts of kindness will start to make a huge difference not just in you, but also the world around you.

Let’s stay happy

Hi guys.

An intensive few weeks as I just started a new job as a Maths lecturer. This is on top of my Tutoring Business of Maths and Physics! And I have fingers in other pies too!

I think I will continue with some of the posts on happiness. On my other blog at Fairyhanny.com I am writing about writing, as I am getting close to putting my third book on to Amazon.

First book

Second book

So it’s all go just now.

Stay safe and happy.