Phoenix Education

Why Getting Enough Sleep May Be The Key To Happiness

I am one of those people who do not seem to need more than six hours sleep a night. This is not always a good thing!

Sleep is important for your health, well-being, and how alert you are. Not getting a good night sleep can impact your performance during the day. Chronic lack of sleep can cause all sorts of health issues and even weight-gain. It can also lead to depression. In other words, not getting the sleep you need makes you feel bad.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Making sure you get sufficient rest can help you feel more energized. You get more done which boosts your self-confidence and in turn your overall happiness. Making sure you get your beauty rest makes a lot of sense.

I am sure you have seen this in action. When we do not sleep well, or do not get a chance to get enough rest, we end up grumpy and agitated. Our stress levels go up which in turn makes us feel worse. We do not get our work done, we start to feel depressed and that in turn leads to more sleepless nights. It is a vicious cycle.

If we can break that cycle and make sleep a priority, everything changes for the better. We wake up in a great mood and ready to tackle the day. It is easier to get work and chores done and still have time to relax and unwind. That in turn leads to a better night sleep and an even better morning.

The big question then is how do we get to this state of sleep-full bliss and a solid 8 hours of rest at night? We do it by making sleep a priority. Yes, there are times in our lives (like the arrival of a new-born, for example), when getting a good night’s sleep is not a possibility for quite some time, but for most of us, working on a reasonable bedtime routine is not that hard to achieve.

And routine is the keyword here.

Good sleep is a habit and a learned behaviour.

It takes a little work on your part to change your habits and establish a good sleep and bedtime routine, but it will be well worth it. I promise.

Start by setting a regular bedtime and do your best to stick to it – even on the weekend and holidays. Our bodies get in a rhythm of waking and resting hours. Help your body get there by staying on schedule. Spend some time in the hours before bed to relax and calm down. Stop working, do not exercise too late in the day, avoid caffeine a few hours before bed, and turn off screens at least an hour before you are ready to fall asleep. Turning down the lights, playing soft music, and reading an old-fashioned paper book are all great ways to relax and prepare both body and mind for sleep. Taking a warm bath or shower can help as well.

If you are still having a tough time going to sleep after implementing a routine, consider supplementing with magnesium and /or melatonin. A lack of either one of those substances in your body can make it much harder to fall and stay asleep. Stick with your routine and you will get into a habit of getting plenty of sleep. That in turn will lead to happier, more energetic, and more productive days

Be Positive

Your subconscious mind constantly works behind the scenes and filters in the information that affirms your underlying beliefs.

Bedtime is an optimal time to work on changing your internal beliefs.

Before you go to sleep, take a few moments to think about the things you want to attract into your life.

Feed your mind helpful thoughts and allow feelings of joy and gratitude to sink in.

Surround yourself with items and quotes that inspire positive feelings.

If you repeatedly use positive statements and act accordingly, your subconscious mind will record it as the truth, and eventually, it will become a core belief.

Build A Support System of Happy People Around You

Moods are contagious. If you are around a bunch of sad and depressed people, you will start to feel down. If on the other hand you are in a group of happy people, you cannot help but start to smile. It makes sense then to surround yourself with happy people if you want your own level of happiness to increase.

Does this mean that you should shut all people who aren’t super happy out of your life? Of course not. We all have important people in our lives whom we love and cherish even if they do not have the sunniest outlook on life. Plus we all have happier, and sadder seasons in our lives. It would be horrible if we avoided loved ones during tough times.

Instead, what I suggest is that you take note of who the happy people in your life are. Who are your cheerleaders that will cheer you on no matter what and who will put a smile on your face anytime you spend time with them? Take note of those positive people, be their friends, family, or even just acquaintances. Build a support system of happy people that you can turn to when you are feeling down.

Along the same lines, you want to be careful about the negative and sad people around you and how they affect your own mood. When you are having a tough time and are struggling with your own happiness levels, it may be better to avoid people that you know will bring you further down. Those are the times when you want to spend time with your team of cheerleaders, or your happiness support system. Again, this does not mean that you need to completely shut people out of your life, just take note of their energy and how they affect you and spend time with them accordingly.

When you are happy, do not be afraid to share that happiness and spread it around. Smiling, laughing, and feeling good about life is contagious. Spread the joy and soak it up from happy people around you when you are not feeling your personal best. Call up that friend that can instantly make you feel better, and talk to people around you who love and care for you about this idea of contagious happiness. Let them know when you could use some cheering up and then return the favour. Because, let us face it, we all have times when we are happier and in a much better mood than other days. Make it a habit to build each other up and create that happiness support system. It will make a dramatic difference in your life and those around you.

Fighting Against Our Brain’s Bias To Negativity

Have you noticed that negative comments and events stick with us much longer, and influence us more than positive ones?

I am sure you have experienced this quite a few times. A positive comment by your teacher for example is appreciated, but the effects wear off quickly. A negative comment on the other hand sticks with you much longer. Why is that? It is because our brains have a bias to negativity. It is measurable and there have been brain scan studies done that show that our brain reacts more strongly to negative stimuli. The big question then is how do we fight against our brain’s bias to negativity?

What can we do to make sure negative remarks and criticism do not get us down?

The first step is that we realize that there is such a thing. This allows us to take each piece of negativity with a grain of salt. It can be incredibly helpful to acknowledge that our mind and heart may be overreacting about something negative. On the other side, this knowledge also allows us to make it a point to savour the positivity. Do not dismiss a compliment out of hand. Instead, savour it, think about it, and make it a point to remember it, and allow it to lift you up when negativity brings you down.

Be positive.

Of course all of this is easier said than done. Since this bias to negativity is hard wired in our brains, it takes a lot of time and effort to build new, more positive habits. Remind yourself each morning that your mind is trying to force you to focus on the negative stuff and that it takes a conscious effort to balance it out by being mindful of all the good and happy things in our lives.

Over time this will allow us to grow a thicker skin when it comes to unwarranted criticism. Should you ignore every single comment or suggestion that you do not like? Of course not. There is such a thing as constructive criticism that helps us to grow and get better at what we do. What we need to guard against are the negative words, events, and feelings that make us go hide in a cave. We do not want to encourage inaction in ourselves. Instead, we want to use the positivity around us to lift us up and help us make it through the tough times, get stronger, and get better at what we do.

Reflecting on both the good and the bad on a daily basis can be a great exercise to help us gain a little distance and see everything that is happening to us in a better light. Keep a journal or set aside some time for quiet contemplation. Talking things out with a friend, particularly when you are struggling with something negative that you’ve having a challenging time getting past, is another great idea. Above all, do what you can to outweigh the negativity with the good stuff. Keep a box or file with some of the best positive emails and comments you have. Peruse through them whenever you need to counteract something negative. As time goes by you will grow that that thicker skin that will protect you from your harshest critics.

Finding Happiness in a Sea Of Sadness or Overwhelm

“Happiness, Happiness, the greatest gift that I possess. I thank the lord that I’ve been blessed with more than my share of Happiness”. Happiness, by Ken Dodd.

We all go through tough times. There are periods in our lives where it is hard to find much joy and happiness amid a sea of sadness and overwhelm. We have times when we feel like we are in way over our head and cannot think straight. That causes lots of stress and as we have talked about in a previous blog post, stress kills happiness.

There are also incredibly sad times in our lives. Relationships end and we lose loved ones. There is certainly a time to grieve and we need to process that loss. We also need these sad moments in life to contrast the happier ones. Without sadness, happiness would be very meaningless. Think about that for a moment. If you are never sad, always happy, happiness becomes the new normal, not something to appreciate and strive toward.

There are things you can do to find a little happiness during these tough times. Often that is all it takes to help you make it through that period in your life. You cannot expect to flip a switch and suddenly everything is rainbows and roses. And why would you want that? We need time to process and grieve when we lose someone, and the overwhelm and stress help us stay on our toes and get stuff done. What we need is to see a small light at the end of the tunnel. We need that little bit of happiness to give us hope.

Let us talk about how you can go about creating that little bit of happiness to get you through the demanding times. The first thing you may want to focus on is gratitude. Whenever you feel particularly bad, sad, or overwhelmed and do not know where to turn, think about the many people and things in your life that you can be grateful for. If you have recently lost a loved one, be grateful for the time you have had with them and the things you have learned from this special person. If you are stressed out at work or in your own business, be grateful that you are growing and making progress. It may not be easy, but this overwhelm and stress usually means that much better things are ahead.

It is also extremely helpful to find the joy in the little things. Maybe you are not ready to be grateful and that is ok. Instead, pay attention to your surroundings and find a little joy in what is around you. Let that toddler playing in the park put a smile on your face. Enjoy the first warm rays of sunshine in the spring, or notice how beautiful that flower in your garden is. In other words, look around and find a little joy and happiness where you can. Above all, remember that even during challenging times, it is ok to find and appreciate these little moments of happiness.

Do not Sweat The Small Stuff – Savour It

Continuing with our pursuit of happiness – a great movie by the way!

“Don’t sweat the small stuff” they say. And they – whoever “they” are, have a good point. It is easy to get caught up in all the petty things that stress us out and ruin our day. Frankly, it is not worth wasting a lot of energy on a lot of things that happen daily that we do not like. Sure, we could get upset over the fact that someone else took the last good parking spot, or that the grocery store is out of our favourite brand of cereal. Or we can choose to not make a big deal out of it and use that small, insignificant stuff to practice seeing the positive side of things. Having to park further away means we get to exercise a little and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine for a couple of minutes while we stroll into the office. Not being able to find our favourite cereal, means we get a chance to try something new that we may like even better.

There are often two sides to any situation and as human beings we have a choice in how we look at it. Make it a goal to look on the bright side and watch your happiness and contentment go up. Then take it a step further and start to really pay attention to all the good stuff around you. Slow down and appreciate life if you will.

There is a lot of value in noticing all the positive things around you. There are a lot of tiny trivial things around you that will put a smile on your face, it you take the time to notice them. Make it a habit to spend some of your downtime this week to savour the small stuff. Notice how your cup of coffee smells, how it warms your hands on a cool morning, and how it tastes. Pay attention to the birds outside your window and notice how watching them and their antics around the birdfeeder makes you smile. Appreciate the hug your little one gives you after you pick her up from school. In other words, savour all the small stuff that makes you happy. It may not be much, but it all adds up to an incredibly happy life. You just must make the time to notice it.

Over the coming weeks, practice noticing and savouring the small things in life. Do not let the harmful stuff bring you down. Instead, make it a goal to find something positive about everything that happens to you throughout the day. Pay particular attention to all the things that make you smile. Acknowledge them and it will not take long before you feel this simple little exercise making a significant difference in your overall outlook on life.

We Crave Human Connections

I currently live by myself in a beautiful place called Southport. I am quite happy though I do miss having people around. And yet too many of the people I know are too busy to spend time together. Why is this a problem?

Like it or not, we are social creatures who crave human connections. It is hardwired into our brains because we need to work together to ensure the survival of our species. We must work together to make this happen. It only makes sense then that forming and maintaining those connections has an internal reward built in. On the other side, when we spent too much time isolated and alone we start to feel sad, depressed and if that isolation lasts too long, we can go mad.

And it is our interaction with other people more than anything else that brings us happiness. It is not the amount of money we make or have stashed away in a bank account. It is not the big house, the fancy car, and all the stuff we accumulate over the years. What makes us happy is spending time and sharing experiences with other people.

Of course not every single person makes us happy. We all must deal with plenty of people we do not particularly enjoy spending time with. We do it to work together on a project at the office because they are our colleagues, or because they happen to work out next to us at the gym. Some people we are ambivalent about, others we would rather not spend time with given the choice. Yet, there are still benefits to these relationships. We work well together, challenge each other, and become better people, and better contributors to society at large when we collaborate. This has its own rewards.

When we are with people we love and whose company we enjoy on the other hand, we get a lot of joy, satisfaction, and happiness out of those interactions. We have evolved into beings who crave the mental, social, and physical connections. There is a reason almost everyone appreciates a heart-felt hug.

Spending time with people who love and encourage us, and those that challenge us, and make us push harder, help us grow as human beings. We get better when we have cheerleaders and mentors around us. There is a reason people say that you are or will become the average of the five people you spent the most time around. Pick those around you wisely if you want to grow as a person and if your goal is happiness, spend as much time as you can with happy, positive people.

Above all, make sure you nurture those important close relationships with family and friends. Those connections will help boost your happiness and make you feel like you are part of something bigger that gives meaning to your life.

Happiness and Exercise

Are you a member of a gym? Do you run every morning? Do you have some free weights at home?

When you are having a difficult day, or are feeling down, the best way to increase your happiness, may be to exercise. There is a strong link between exercise and an improvement in mood and well-being. Give it a try. Go for a 30-minute walk whenever you are feeling depressed and unhappy. You will notice your mood starting to increase throughout the walk. As you get back, you may notice that you’ve feeling even happier.

This increase of happiness and wellbeing after exercise is caused by two different mechanisms in our body. The first is that exercise causes the release of brain chemicals like endorphins and other mood enhancers. This happens just a few minutes after you work out and the effect can last for a good 12 hours. The second part to the equation is that exercise also helps reduce the levels of stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline in the body. That means you will instantly feel less stressed. This one-two punch can have a powerful effect on how you feel. Something as simple as a brisk walk can help you feel better almost immediately.

For best results you want to exercise a few times per week. Take some time during your lunch break to go for a walk, or work a quick workout in before you head to work in the morning. It does not matter what you do if you start moving around and get that blood pumping. Pick activities you enjoy that you will stick with.

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels.com

In addition to the everyday mood booster you get from exercising regularly, there are quite a few additional long-term benefits. Exercise is good for your health and you will start to get fitter and even slimmer and more toned if you stick with it. This in turn will improve how you feel and how you feel about yourself. That added confidence can be a great additional mood booster.

For best results, try to get as much exercise as you can outside. Fresh air and sunshine add to a feeling of wellbeing. Produce some simple things you can start doing right now. Maybe it is going for a walk each afternoon. Maybe it is taking up jogging. Maybe it is signing up for a yoga or Pilate’s class at your local community centre, or maybe it is joining a basketball team. It does not matter what you choose to do if you make it a goal to get more active and move around. Switch it up and plan a group hike for the weekend, or dust off your bike. There is a lot of fun ways to move around and enjoy the world around you.

Stress Kills Happiness – Easy Ways To Destress

It is hard to be happy when you are stressed. I do not have to tell you that. I am sure you have experienced it yourself. Think back on high stress situations like missing a flight to go on holiday, or when you were planning your wedding and things got overwhelming and started to fall apart. Hopefully, you were able to recover and enjoy your time away or your wedding day, but chances are that you were not too happy while you were stressed out. Stress sucks the happiness and joy right out of us.

It only make sense then that one way to increase our happiness and our quality of life is to distress. Not only is it good for our soul, it is also good for our overall health and wellbeing to reduce the stress in our lives. Here are some simple things you can do to distress.

Get Enough Sleep

A straightforward way to stress less is to make sure you get a good seven to eight hours of sleep at night. When we do not sleep well, and do not sleep enough, our bodies are in a constant state of stress, trying to make up for the lack of sleep. Sleep helps us relax and gives our mind time to process everything that has been happening. Stop burning the midnight oil and get some sleep. You will get more done when you are fresh and rested and you will be less stressed out.

Move Around And Get Some Exercise

Without doubt, the best stress reliever is exercise. Start moving around and burn that stress right out of your system. If you can get outside to workout, even better. The fresh air and sunshine will do wonders. Go for a run, or even just a short walk whenever you are feeling stressed. For best results, work out regularly.

Take Some “Me” Time

There are times in our lives when we must spend a lot of focus and attention on others. Maybe you are raising a toddler, or you are working hard to get a new company off the ground. At busy times like these that take a lot of our attention and time, it is easy to forget about ourselves, or put our own personal needs last. Make an effort to spend at least a little bit of “me” time each day. It does not have to be much. Even ten minutes spent relaxing and doing something completely selfish can be a fantastic way to decompress and distress.

Practice Meditation

Let us wrap this up with one last technique that can keep stress at bay. Try meditating. Again, you do not have to spend a lot of time on this. Sitting quietly going through a guided meditation once a day can do wonders. Once you get in the habit of practicing meditation daily, and get better at it, you can draw on the techniques you have learned whenever you encounter a particularly stressful situation. You can spend a minute or two in meditation, even at the most stressful time and allow your mind to relax. Trust me, this will come in very handy when life throws you a curveball, or when you are feeling completely overwhelmed.

The Connection Between Doing Stuff And Happiness

Photo by Oliver Sju00f6stru00f6m on Pexels.com

We are hard wired for acting and getting stuff done. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? Our survival as a society depends on the actions of lots of different people. We each do our part and everything runs smoothly. It only makes sense then that we have an internal mechanism hard wired into our brain that rewards us for getting things done.

I am sure you have seen this in action in your own life. You feel proud, accomplished, and happy when you wrap up a big work project, or finish reorganizing your closet. It is a great feeling and it is what drives us to get things done on a regular basis. It is motivation to get to work and act.

On the other hand, when we do not have anything meaningful to do and we do not feel like we are contributing, we get depressed. People who do not have a fulfilling job, or feel like the work they do is useless, are much more likely to feel down, tired, sad, and depressed.

The best way to turn that around is to find something, anything we can do to make us feel productive. If we feel like we are contributing to others, having a positive impact on their lives, all the better.

Give it a try.

The next time you feel down, force yourself to do one little productive thing. Go clean the bathroom, organize your bookshelf, or do a load of laundry. Then use the accomplishment from that to motivate yourself to get something else done. Keep building on it, and before you know it you will notice your mood changing for the better

If you want to supercharge this experience, go out and do something productive that helps others. Go work at a soup kitchen for a couple of hours, or help at your local animal shelter. Offer to baby sit for a friend with little kids who has not been out all week. Do something that benefits someone else and you will feel even better than before.

For the long run, make it a goal to work at a job, or build a business that helps fuel this feeling of contributing and giving back. Wouldn’t it be great if the hours you spent earning a living each week, also contributed to your overall happiness and a feeling of fulfilment? What can you do this week or this month to work towards this goal? That is where you want to start and in the meantime, keep volunteering, keep acting, and do things that make you feel happy and accomplished.