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5 Ways to Develop Positive Thinking

Not feeling well? Kind of blah and wishing you had something better to say about the day than a mumbled ‘fine’ when someone asks you how you are? The solution might be simpler than you think.

Our attitudes really are everything. When we’re not feeling great about our lives or how the day is going, everything can seem to go wrong. The problem is, life isn’t a steady thing. You might have one really good day followed by another equally bad. With so many things outside of your control from the weather to politics it might seem impossible to ever truly feel good about anything.

The answer lies in your thinking. By being able to think positively, you will find your entire outlook changes.

How do you develop the habit of positive thinking?

Rephrase

The obvious answer is to use more positive words. Instead of saying something negative, either out loud or in your head, try to find a better way to say things. For example, work isn’t grueling so much as it might have interesting challenges. While this might seem artificial and forced at first, the more you work to rephrase things, the easier it will be to find a more positive spin.

Reframe

How many times have you talked about ‘having’ to do something. This alone has a negative connotation, as though you’re being forced into something you don’t want to do. Instead trying to drop the word ‘have’ in this context, and try inserting ‘get’ instead. You don’t have to do a presentation by Friday. You get to do one. Hear the difference? This is how you change a task into an opportunity.

Reorient

Sure, disasters are going to happen. Not everything you attempt is going to turn out exactly the way you’d like it to. Rather than focus on the disaster, try changing your focus. It might be time to shift to a slightly different method or goal.

Relax

It’s so hard to be positive when you’re absolutely exhausted and feeling like you’re in over your head. Sometimes the best way to cultivate better self-talk is to cut yourself some slack and take a break. Things will look brighter when you can come back refreshed.

Reassess

Being positive should never be about closing your eyes to tragedy or injustice. Bad things are going to happen in the world. But someone with a positive attitude will be able to look beyond the tragedy to the next step. Positivity finds solutions where others only see problems. Here is the birth of activism and change.

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Reasons We Take Up Bad Habits

Have you ever found yourself engaging in a bad habit and wondering why you can’t seem to stop? Unfortunately, it’s common to fall into bad habits – whether procrastination, unhealthy eating, or neglecting self-care. In your quest for self-improvement, know that discovering and understanding the underlying reasons for these habits is the first step toward making positive changes.

Common Reasons for Taking Up Bad Habits

There are many triggers for taking up bad habits, but the following are among the most common.

Boredom: When bored, turning to unhealthy habits to pass the time or finding entertainment is not unusual. To overcome boredom-related bad habits, it’s important to find activities that are engaging and meaningful to you. This might involve taking up a new hobby, volunteering, or pursuing personal growth opportunities.

Stress: Stress is a common trigger for bad habits such as overeating, smoking, or procrastination. To overcome stress-related bad habits, the answer is to find healthy ways to manage stress such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.

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Need for validation: Sometimes, people form bad habits to seek validation or attention from others. To overcome this bad habit, you need to focus on your self-worth rather than seeking it from others. This might involve setting goals that align with your values, practicing self-compassion, or seeking support from friends and family.

Learned behaviors: Seeing family members or other role models engaging in bad habits can lead to imitation to fit in or feel accepted. When children see adults or peers engaging in certain behaviors, it makes it much more likely that they will imitate them.

Difficulty with self-regulation: People often turn to bad habits to cope with negative emotions or to avoid facing challenges. To overcome this bad habit, it’s important to work on self-regulation skills such as managing emotions, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed.

Lack of structure: When you don’t have a clear sense of purpose or structure, you might turn to unhealthy habits to fill the void. To overcome this bad habit, you need to create a sense of structure and purpose in your life, such as setting goals, creating a schedule, or finding activities that bring meaning and fulfillment.

As you can see, the main reason for developing bad habits is a lack of self-awareness and self-control. People often form bad habits to cope with difficult emotions, stress, or boredom. However, if a person is not aware of the habit, it will become a pattern that can be difficult to break.

Bad habits are challenging to overcome, but understanding the underlying reasons is the first step toward making positive changes. Identifying the reasons behind your bad habits, and finding healthy ways to cope, will help you take control of your habits and live a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember to be patient with yourself and take small steps towards change. With time and effort, you can create healthy habits that bring joy and fulfillment to your life.

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Why Bad Habits Are Hard to Break

Bad habits are frustrating and difficult to break, but why are some so hard to shake? First, let’s explore why bad habits are so stubborn and what you can do to overcome them.

Your Life Is Out of Alignment

Bad habits often arise when something in your life is out of balance. Maybe you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or perhaps you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise. Whatever the case, when something in your life is off kilter, it can be hard to break a bad habit.

What’s out of alignment? Here are some common examples and what to do to fix it:

Sleep/energy levels – Make sure to get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a balanced diet.
Stress/anxiety – Engage in stress-relieving activities such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
Time management – Create a daily routine and schedule tasks to maximize productivity.
Finances – Develop a budget plan and stick with it.
Relationships – Spend quality time with family and friends.
Work/life balance – Set boundaries between work and leisure activities so that you can rest and relax during off-hours.

It’s important to identify what might be out of alignment and work to fix it. To determine what is out of alignment in your life you may need to practice mindfulness by keeping a journal to help you figure out what’s not right for you.

For example, if you have low energy, is it due to your diet, sedentary lifestyle, stress, or anxiety, or is your time management needing some work? This requires brutal honesty about what you may be doing to cause this misalignment.

You Don’t Understand Why You Are Doing It

Sometimes, people engage in bad habits without really understanding why. Maybe you’re doing it out of boredom, to cope with negative emotions, or simply because it’s a habit you’ve always had.

It is difficult to address the issue without understanding the root cause of your bad habits so that you can make lasting changes.

Thankfully, it only takes a few steps that will allow you to get to the root cause of a bad habit:

Identify the habit
Track your behavior
Ask yourself hard questions
Act

Take the time to observe the bad habit so you can determine what exactly the bad habit is. Take notes when the habit occurs. Ask yourself why. Write down the situation or emotions you experience that triggers the habit. Ask yourself these hard questions to identify and understand any underlying causes, especially the payoff you get from performing a bad habit.

You Focus Only On the Goal, Which Overwhelms You

Breaking a bad habit is sometimes overwhelming. This is especially true if you’re focusing on the end goal rather than the steps it takes to get there. So instead of trying to quit a habit cold turkey, it is often more effective to focus on small, achievable steps.

For example, if you’re trying to stop procrastinating, try setting a goal to work on a task for just 15 minutes each day. You’ll be more prone to sticking to your new habit and making lasting changes by taking small steps that accumulate over time.

Bad habits are hard to break. However, by understanding the root cause of your habit, focusing on small, achievable steps, identifying what might be out of alignment in your life, and working to correct the issues, you are sure to overcome them and create lasting change.

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Breaking Bad Habits: Planning for Setbacks 2.

Restart

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Don’t let a setback discourage or derail your progress entirely. Instead, use it as an opportunity to start fresh. Set a new goal and plan to achieve it. Don’t worry about how long it will take – just focus on taking small steps in the right direction.

Seek Support

It is helpful to have someone to talk to when trying to break a bad habit. A friend or family member who is supportive and understanding can encourage and help you stay motivated. You can also consider joining a support group or working with a coach or therapist to help you overcome your challenges.

Stay Positive

Getting discouraged during a setback is common, but staying positive and focusing on your progress is important. Remember that change takes time, and it’s okay to have setbacks along the way.

Planning for setbacks is an important part of breaking bad habits. You can overcome setbacks and progress towards your goals by forgiving yourself, evaluating what happened, restarting, and seeking support. So don’t get discouraged – keep moving forward, and you’ll live a better life through positive habits sooner than you think.

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Breaking Bad Habits: Planning for Setbacks 1.

Breaking bad habits can be a challenging and often frustrating process. It can be easy to fall off the wagon and revert to old habits. But it’s vital to remember that setbacks are a normal part of the process and can be an opportunity for growth and improvement.

Here are several steps you can take to plan for setbacks and get back on track.

Forgive Yourself

It’s important to be kind to yourself when you experience a setback. Don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the mistake. Instead, recognize that it’s a normal part of the process and move on.

Take a Break

Sometimes a setback happens just because you’re overworking yourself. Often you can put things right by going for a walk or working on something else and coming back to the issue with a clear mind. Planning for frequent breaks will help you minimize the number of setbacks you experience.

Evaluate What Happened

Take some time to reflect on what led to the setback. For example, did you have a particularly stressful day that made it harder to stick to your habits? Did you get caught up in a social situation that made it difficult to resist temptation? Understanding the root cause and triggers surrounding the setback will help you develop strategies to prevent it from happening again.

Set Specific and Achievable Goals

Clear goals keep you focused and motivated as you overcome setbacks. Be sure to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). You can learn about this at almost any university website, like this one in Minnesota.

Be Flexible and Adaptable

Setbacks are a normal part of life. It’s vitally important to be flexible and adaptable in the face of them. If something isn’t working, be willing to adjust your plan and try something new.

Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Stress majorly contributes to setbacks, so it’s imperative to find healthy ways to manage it. Choose healthy options that are proven to work, like exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.

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Don’t wait for things to get better to be happy

5.

“Don’t wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now, otherwise you’ll run out of time.” – Anonymous

Part of being human is having moments in life when we want more. We want to get to the next level and achieve something bigger, better and brighter.

In life, you shouldn’t depend your happiness on something you don’t have yet. It’s better to acknowledge the good that you already have in your life and focus on being happy and living in the moment.

That way, you’re sending positive vibes out into the Universe and attract that same positivity right back to you.

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Don’t play the victim game

4.

Whenever you feel like things are crumbling and falling apart, it’s best not to play the victim game and blame others. Remind yourself that things are happening for you and not to you.

It’s easy to complain and play the victim game when life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, planned or expected. But acting that way will not magically make things better.

Instead, tell yourself that things happen for a reason.

It’s not the end of the road for you if your relationship ended, you lost your job and experienced other unfortunate things. Things may not make sense, but one day you’ll look back and realize that certain things didn’t work out because something better was meant for you.

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Don’t get discouraged by failures

3.

Max Planck once said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Simply put, it’s all about perspective. If you look at failures as a bad thing, it’ll discourage you from getting back up when you fall down. But if you look at it in a positive light, you’ll try again and learn from the experience.

Always tell yourself and believe that YOU WILL because YOU CAN.

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A little extra

I had this one pop up on Daily Motivation.

It sort of sums up my last year. 12 months ago I was lost, skint, unemployed, just about homeless, and was falling out with most of my family.

Falling out with the family has turned into a blessing as I realise they are Narcissists and Gaslighters. I have had a very successful life though they tried to make out I was a failure. I was the first person in my family to get a University degree, became a succesful teacher, including being a Head Teacher at an International school in China; lived in the expensive suburbs in a big house with wife and three lovely sons; TA Army Officer reaching the rank of Major; I have published books on Amazon.

I have lived and worked in USA, Spain, China, Morocco, Kazakhstan, Switzerland, UAE, Qatar, Oman, and Azerbaijan, visiting countries I never dreamt I would be able to access when I was a kid. And plenty more countries for holidays…

Yet they make out I am a loser, a failure etc…

Anyway, try this;

“You have been patiently riding the waves of life.

You chose to do the right thing – even when your heart ached, and the tears rolled down your cheeks.

You are starting to see the transformative effects of inner work.

There have been vast improvements in every aspect of your life.

Photo by Oliver Sju00f6stru00f6m on Pexels.com

The voice of fear is no longer as loud and stubborn as it used to be.

It’s getting easier to release your unwanted thoughts.

You now know how to overcome the tricks of the ego.

Keep working on your healing.

You are about to enter the season of fulfilled manifestations.

New doors are opening for you. “

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Change your fixed mindset into a growth mindset

2.

Having a fixed mindset will not get you far in life.

This mindset makes you believe that things are not going to change, but stay as they are. If you believe you don’t have what it takes and that there’s nothing you can do to change something, you’re going to give up easily and not put in the work to improve certain areas in your life.

On the other hand, having a growth mindset means you’re ready to grow and evolve in order to reach your full potential and become the best version of yourself.

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Change your “I have to’s” to “I get to’s”

1.

Sometimes we tend to take things for granted.

For instance, we complain about the things that we “have to” do like we have to eat, take a shower, go to work or school, etc. Instead of doing that, change your perspective and be more grateful that you “get to” do those things. Because not everyone gets the chance to.

By applying this mindset change, you’re going to give a different energy and imply that you’re blessed and grateful instead of implying like you have no choice but to do those things.

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What to Do Next

In the end, successfully setting goals can help you find and follow what really matters to you. Take the time to really think about what you want out of your life, your business, your health. Then write out the goals you want to achieve in the short-term and in the long-term. Make them just out of your comfort zone to help you stay motivated.

Get others who are committed to helping you succeed on board. Ask them to be your accountability partners.

Break the goals down into smaller steps.

Finally, be aware of the reasons we often fail at reaching our goals. Make sure you really want what you’re reaching for, and you have a definite reason you are pursuing it.

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Following Through to the End

A goal properly set is halfway reached. ~ Zig Ziglar

Listen. You know it’s a great idea to create and write down your goals, but if you don’t follow through with them, they won’t do you any good. It takes more than wishful thinking to follow through on your dreams. Learning a new skill, getting more education, or motivating yourself to change the way you eat takes specific steps.

Once you know how to create strong goals and how to plan to follow through on each one, you’ve learned a skill that will help you succeed for the rest of your life.

In everything that matters, it’s important to follow through. You wouldn’t ask someone on a date and then not show up, would you? Follow-through is important and can be achieved by having someone to help motivate you, breaking down your goals into small manageable steps and remembering why you are after the goal to begin with.

Differentiate between short and long-term goals. This is your first step. You need to write down your goals and set a specific date you want to achieve the goals. Goals can be one month, three months, six months, one year, 5 years or any other amount of time. Short term goals might be something like losing five pounds in 2 months while a long-term goal could save $300,000 in 5 years to build a home.
Have an accountability partner. This is someone who believes in you and can hold you accountable when you go off track or want to quit. An accountability partner is like a sports coach. They are there to guide you, make sure you do what you say you will and give you a good talking to when you fall off course.
Visualize your goals every step of the way. Take time to visualize what the completed goal looks like. How does it feel? What will you be doing? What does it smell, taste, and look like? IF you need to, cut out or draw an image of the final goal. Imagine yourself in a situation to raise your motivation. When you run into a tough spell, take out your visualization to remind yourself why you are pursuing the goal.
Break down your goals into smaller steps. Make each step small enough that it’s not so monumental that it takes you a long time to complete it. Instead have small tasks to complete towards the goal each day. Physically tick off completed tasks from your goal breakdown list. For instance, your big goal is to lose twenty pounds by eating healthily and exercising. Break this down to something like eat one fresh vegetable for each meal today. Walk for 5 minutes.
Review often. Take time every month to review your goals. This keeps you on track and can help you see if you are pursuing a goal that no longer matters to you.
Be consistent. Work on your goals every day. If you need to, tweak your habits. Work on changing old habits that won’t help you reach your goal. Begin building new habits.
Reward yourself when you reach a milestone. Allow yourself to celebrate certain steps along the way.
Practice self-forgiveness. If you fall off track, don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and then get back on track.

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Tips from the Experts

It’s one thing to tell you that you need to create concrete goals. I mean, who am I to tell you they work? I searched out some experts who have used goals to make a success of themselves.

Here are some of their tips on setting and achieving goals.

“Focus and concentration are the keys to success. Focus means that you know exactly what it is that you want to accomplish, and concentration requires that you dedicate yourself to doing only those things that move you toward your goal.” Brian Tracy is a top sales trainer and personal success authority.
“Set ‘bumper goals’ – so that if you finish Benchmark A, B or C – you STILL have a win and can stop or celebrate! This gave me a ‘game’ mentality and I was curious to see which goal I would hit first! I’m a geek, but it made my task more fun!” Carrie Wilkerson, The Barefoot Executive is a best-selling author, international speaker, award-winning podcaster, and radio guest.
“Even though you have a goal in mind that you will work tirelessly for, remember that you are human and that everyone needs a rest. Do you know that statement that says to adjust your oxygen mask before helping others? That is true—get your oxygen before you can give to those around you.” Mally Roncal is a makeup artist and founder and president of Mally Beauty.
“Never feel you’ve reached your goals. Don’t ever give up on your dreams, and work toward making them a reality.” José Eber is a celebrity hairstylist.
“I block out several hours every week on my calendar for ‘creative time.’ I turn off my phone and spend time writing and researching. I think it’s important to do these weekly sessions because they provide clarity about my brand and where I want it to go; this practice can help with any goal.” Emily Morse is a sex therapist, relationship advisor, and author.
“Goals such as ‘eat more healthfully,’ ‘exercise more,’ or ‘get more fun out of life’ are vague. Make it clear to yourself what you’re expecting from yourself. Goals such as ‘bring my lunch to work every day,’ ‘take a 20-minute walk after work,’ or ‘make a lunch date with a friend every Friday’ are easy to measure.” Gretchen Rubin is the best-selling author of The Happiness Project.
“Some goals must be BIG to make you stretch and grow to your full potential. Some goals must be long-range to keep you on track and reduce the possibility of short-range frustrations. Some goals must be small and daily to keep you disciplined. Some goals must be ongoing. Some goals (i.e., weight loss, sales success, education, etc.) may require analysis and consultation to determine where you are before you can set the goals. Most goals should be specific.” Zig Ziglar was a long-time motivational speaker.
“A key thing with goals that I learned from Facebook is to only have one goal for a specific period. It helps with saying no to other distractions you will face during the year.” Noah Kagan is the founder of AppSumo, a company that connects businesses with great products that will help them succeed & writes the OkDork blog.
“Using my list of priorities as a guide, I focus on one step at a time. Latest ideas may be considered, but if they could get priorities out of order, they must wait their turn. I jot those ideas in a project file, and then return focus to the task at hand.” Kathryn Aragon is an award-winning copywriter, content marketer, consultant, and product creator. She is also the editor of The Daily Egg, Crazy Egg’s conversion optimization blog.

There you have it. Straight from successful people the tips they use to reach their goals. Follow their examples to achieve your own successful goals.

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Successfully Setting Goals

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~Larry Elder

As you can see, failing at our goals is often a lot easier than achieving them. You might be asking yourself why bother setting goals if you are going to fail. You can successfully achieve your goals if you take a few steps to set up the right kinds of goals.

Those who succeed at reaching their goals all do certain things in common.

Believe in your goals. It doesn’t do you any good to create goals that you don’t believe you can achieve. Make them just out of your current reach.
Visualize yourself having achieved the goal. For example, if your goal is to lose ten pounds in 2 months, visualize yourself buying a size smaller outfit.
Write your goals down. This is a powerful step. It’s the number one thing that helps keep you on track. Begin by writing down the big goal. Then break it down into smaller steps on how to reach your goal. Henriette Anne Klauser details this in her captivating book, Write It Down and Make It Happen. Writing down your goal means you are stating your intention and setting things in motion.
Commit to them. Do something towards achieving your goal every day. It doesn’t have to be a major step. Just do something. It’s drinking one more glass of water or walking an extra block.
Stay focused. Keep the number of goals you set at one time to less than 5. It’s difficult for anyone to focus on more than five items at one time. Don’t include several goals under each big goal. Instead focus on a few goals that you can repeat from memory.
Create “SMART” goals. This popular acronym has been proven to work when setting your goals. They meet five specific criteria:
- Specific- the goal must identify exactly what you want to accomplish in a specific way. Instead of a goal of, “write a book,” make it more specific like, “Write a book proposal for The Family Life Manifesto.”
- Measurable- the goal needs to have a measurable result, so you know without a doubt you have hit your goal. A goal of “earn more than last year” can’t be measured. A goal of “Earn $10,000 more this year than the last.” can.
- Actionable- your goal should start with an action. (run, finish, quit, earn) instead of a to be verb (be, have, am). Replace “Be more active” with “Run 2 miles every day.”
- Realistic- a good goal will stretch you out of your comfort zone but not be so unrealistic as to not be attainable in a reasonable amount of time. A lofty goal of “Qualify for the PGA Tour” might be better than “Lower my golf handicap by four strokes.”
- Time- the goal needs to have a specific date for completion. It can be a year-end date or a closer date. “Lose ten pounds” doesn’t have a specific time while “lose 10 pounds by August 31” does.
Plan of action. Once you’ve committed to a goal, create a plan of action to attain it. The best way to do this is to break the big goal into smaller steps. Work backward from the big goal to help you figure out what you need to do.
Review your written goals frequently. Review them on a regular basis to keep on track and to determine what your next step is. You can review them daily, weekly, or monthly, whatever works best for you. Let your goals inspire you to fill your daily task list.

Goal setting is not just helpful, it’s necessary to succeed in what makes you happy. Those who make consistent progress towards their goals are often happier and have more satisfied lives than those who drift through life. Successful goal setting is the guide that gets them to the end of their goal.

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Why Goals Fail

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” ~ Henry Ford

Now that you know why you need goals, setting the right ones and meeting them can be somewhat of a problem. Often, we fail to meet some of the goals we set for ourselves. There are several major reasons for this.

Vague goals that lead to setting the wrong priorities. Sometimes you manage to find time to do things that don’t add any value to your life and aren’t relevant to your goals. You might have a goal to author a book within a year. Instead of writing to reach that goal, you work on other stuff like getting pulled into Facebook or chatting on forums about something else.

If the goal is important enough for you, make it a priority to work on it.

Listening to the wrong people. Often, we associate with those who steer us in the wrong direction for whatever reason. It could be they are afraid you will leave them if you succeed. Or they are jealous of your ambition.
Our own selfish acts keep us from achieving our goals. Selfish acts such as not being willing to change a bad habit or thinking we deserve something without having to do the work.
We procrastinate. We make excuses. Lots of excuses. It seems it’s easier to come up with an excuse than a reason we need to be doing something. We’ve all made them. They range from not having enough time to the full moon. We’d rather watch TV or put off doing something because it’s easier than tackling our goals. Excuses are just that: excuses and they keep you at a standstill.

Excuses often come when we are afraid or uncertain of the outcome or the next step or what people will think. Or they happen when we are feeling lazy. We just don’t want to get out of our comfort zone and tackle what needs to be done to move us toward our goal.

Negative thoughts and fears. We grow our fears larger than we think of our abilities. Fear of failure (or success) kills dreams before they get to the first step. It’s often that we believe things won’t work out (or if they do, what will change), and this keeps us from working on our goals.

Fear robs you of self-confidence. It allows you to produce reasons (excuses) why you can’t accomplish your goals.

Lack higher purpose. Your “WHY” is weak. You must know what your goal means to you and why you set it. Are you chasing after something because it’s expected of you or to keep up with your peers?

If you set a goal for the wrong reason and spend time chasing after things you really don’t want, you lose your motivation to continue. You aren’t committed to them enough to achieve them and end up wasting time, money, and energy. Instead figure out your “WHY” before you set your goals.

Working on too many things at once. Trying to do many different things spreads your attention too thin. It can keep us from developing our skills and expertise in an area we would thrive and be enthusiastic about.

You need to discover what you are good at and most driven to achieve and focus on it. Set goals to achieve success at that before you move on to something else.

Not having a plan. As the saying goes when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Having a plan is an essential part of reaching your goals. It’s the roadmap that gets you from point A to point B. Ask yourself how you plan to achieve your goal and what actions you need to take. Then use the answers to plan.

A plan is the steps you need to take to reach your goal. Use these to set your priorities for what you need to do and when you need to do each step.

Not responsible and lack of commitment to the goal. This is like knowing what your “why” is. We’ve all done it. We start a diet with good intentions on Monday but by the end of the week we begin to cheat until we are completely off track.

You need to be fully committed to your goal to follow through. Excuses, friends, and those donuts will always pop up when you least expect them to derail you or cause you to put off your goals.

Unhealthy habits derail you. You have a habit of giving up when the going gets tough. It’s easier to just quit than to work through problems.

Your goal may require you to change the way you eat or to exercise more or work harder or put yourself in front of others. It’s easier to grab a bag of chips and sit on the couch or to pass the work on to someone else. Changing your bad habits is a necessary step in achieving your goals.

There are many reasons we seem to fail at goals. One of the biggest, of course, is the failure to set goals in the first place. Even an informal goal is better than none. Lack of action and following through on your goals often comes from fear. Recognizing your fear and committing yourself to working through it will go a long way in reaching your goals.

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Why You Need Goals

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.”– Fitzhugh Dodson

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

All successful achievements begin with setting a goal. It’s the step that motivates you to take the first step toward what you want.

You know people who have a passive approach in life. They don’t set any goals. They just go through their life, day-by-day, doing the same thing from year to year. They don’t set a goal to achieve anything and that is exactly what they achieve.

The following list gives you five more reasons you need goals in life.

To move you in a focused direction. Have a goal, especially one that is written down with a set date to accomplish it. Your goals represent your inner desires. Your inner desires are what motivate you in life. Goals are a constant reminder of why you are doing the actions you’re doing. They are the path that leads you forward.
Turn big dreams into small steps. A big dream can seem impossible to accomplish. It can be discouraging. But when you set goals the right way, you break those larger, more intimidating goals down into smaller, achievable steps. These smaller goals make it easier to see what you need to do each step of the way.
Hold you accountable. Having concrete goals and writing them down gives you a timeline for achievement. If you fail along the path, you have something to look to for re-evaluation. You might be humbled if you look back on goals you set for 6 months, a year or even 5 years ago only to see you were supposed to accomplish a lot more than you did. It’s a sign that you went off the path with a wrong turn. Having these concrete goals written down helps you see where you need to go and what changes you need to make to reach them.
Goals help us believe in ourselves. Goals are a way to fuel your ambition. Goals give you a plan for your life and hold you accountable as well as give you inspiration to aim for things you might have thought were impossible to achieve. For example, maybe you want to accomplish something many people only dream of. Setting a goal to reach that dream and the steps it takes to get there helps you see your progress.
Give you a picture of what you really want. More often than not, you have set goals that don’t really reflect what you really want. Maybe you think you need more money but what you really need is a change of environment. Or you’ve set a goal to change jobs when what you really need is to work at something you can be enthusiastic about. Having a vague sense of success keeps you from going after what you truly desire. Setting goals forces you to ask yourself what you really want and re-assess your goals as you gain perspective and self-reflection on what really makes you happy.

Finally, goals are necessary if you want to succeed at anything. They function as a map to guide you to what you truly desire and hope to achieve in your life. You use goals to reach personal, spiritual, and professional success so you are living life to the fullest.

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More thoughts about goals!

Your No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Your Goals

Do you know how important setting goals is to achieving success at anything? Do you set goals? Are they effective? Do you have written goals? If you answered no these questions, you aren’t alone. Research has shown that 90 percent of people don’t have written goals.

Think of it like this. You go to the supermarket without a list. You roam the aisles, grabbing whatever catches your eyes. When you get home, you realize you’ve forgotten half the things you need. So now you must make another trip to the store. Not only have you wasted time, but money as well, on things you don’t need. Having goals without writing them down is like shopping without a list.

The one thing all successful people, whether they are an athlete, a business owner or someone who has lost weight and kept it off, have in common is that they set goals for themselves.

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels.com

Many people work hard but don’t seem to get anywhere. They feel as if they’re adrift, floating from one day to the next.

A key reason for this is because they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want in life, and they don’t set any formal goals. It’s like starting out on a trip without any idea of where you are going. It’s not a promising idea.

Goal setting is powerful. It puts you in the process of thinking of your ideal future and what motivates you to work toward that vision. Goals are your roadmap to your future.

Creating this goals roadmap is the process which helps you choose what you want in life, where you want to go and who you want to be. When you know precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you need to focus your efforts to achieve the result.

Having goals will help you quickly spot when you are going in the wrong direction or the distractions that lead you astray.

So how do you set goals that you can achieve and how can you avoid failure? That’s where this guide can help.

Welcome to the No-Nonsense Guide to Setting and Achieving Goals report. This guide is designed to take you from floating through life to setting and achieving goals in a simple to understand, easy to implement format. Get ready – this guide will move you to set goals for change.

What you’re about to learn in this series of articles:

Why you need goals.
Why goals fail.
How to successfully set goals
Tips from the experts
How to follow through

Before we get to the heart of goal setting, we should look at more reasons why you need goals to succeed in everything you do.

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Overcoming Perfectionism with a Growth Mindset

One of my pupils told me how she stays up late working at her Mathematics homework as she wants to get everything perfectly right. I told her to just enjoy life, watch TV, read a book, spend time with her friends and family – and to remember – we often learn best from making mistakes!

So I ask you – Is the drive to be perfect holding you back?

If so, you are not alone. In fact, the relentless pursuit of perfection may be more of a hindrance to your long-term growth than you realize. Fortunately, developing a growth mindset that focuses on continual improvement instead of constant perfection can help you navigate this journey successfully. With the right mindset and attitude, you can reap the positive benefits of wanting to excel without getting trapped by the unrealistic ideals of perfection.

Understand Why You’re Striving for Perfection

A suitable place to start is to look at why you feel compelled to be perfect in the first place. In many cases, the desire to be perfect is more than just wanting to do well. You’re seeking control over a specific situation, striving for the approval of others, or trying to boost your sense of self-worth. Whatever the motivation, recognizing what is driving that harsh inner critic is an important first step to overcoming it.

Address the Paralysis of Perfection

The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming. If you find yourself paralyzed by fear at the thought of failure, remind yourself that the best opportunities for growth and self-reflection often come from making mistakes. So, give yourself the freedom to “fail forward” from time to time and focus on acting, rather than achieving some idealized “perfect result” in every instance.

Embrace Your Imperfections

Giving yourself the freedom to be less-than-perfect doesn’t mean you have to lower your standards or not care about quality. Mistakes and flaws are a natural part of the learning process and every misstep you make will help you grow once you learn to embrace this mindset.

Try These Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism:

Set Realistic Goals: Start by setting achievable goals. Break larger tasks into smaller, more straightforward ones, and remember to celebrate the completion of each one.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that being imperfect is human and that self-criticism only hinders your progress.

Learn from Failures: Instead of berating yourself for mistakes, analyze them. What can they teach you? How can they help you grow?

Challenge Perfectionist Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking in absolutes, such as “I must be perfect,” challenge these thoughts. Remind yourself of the value of the journey, not just the destination.

Seek Feedback: Be open to constructive criticism. It provides an external perspective that breaks the cycle of perfectionism.

Remember, cultivating a growth mindset to overcome perfectionism is a continuous process, rather than a one-time thing. Each step you take on this journey brings you one step closer to a more productive and fulfilling life.

As you continue this path, you’ll find that letting go of the need to be perfect doesn’t mean giving up on excellence. Instead, it opens the door to a more balanced, joyous, and authentic life. Embrace your imperfections and watch as they help you find your greatest strengths.

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Writing more – developing a growth mindset!

I have a couple of books on Amazon under my full name, concerning the crazy exploits of my heroine Fairy Hanny. They are adult humour…

Strange Things From Uranus

Trans-Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus

Inside me are several more books but I have been too lazy or procrastinating to keep working on them.

I have My Police Detective novels featuring Detective Inspector Hunter Flaange and DC Jason Belvoir – black humour, the dark side of life. Based on some real life events I have read about. Working titles so far are Death at the Dick Factory, The Phuket Incident and The Foreign Sick detective. All in draft form so far.

Plus there are my travel tales/diaries from the summer Spent as a farm labourer in Switzerland, The years in Almaty, China, Morocco, Azerbaijan… Oh the ladies…

I also have a couple of Young Adult book ideas – probably influenced by my teaching job in boarding schools, and Harry Potter!

So I found this article on growth mindset veryy useful.

“

Cultivating a Growth Mindset for Success

Cultivating a growth mindset is key to achieving success in your personal and professional life. In addition, it plays a key role if you strive to become the best version of yourself. To reach and unlock your full potential, you’ll need to embrace some of the hallmarks of a growth mindset, including introspection and self-reflection, a passion for lifelong learning, and a commitment to long-term growth.

Here Are A Few Things to Keep in Mind as You Begin This Journey:

Embrace Challenges as Opportunities to gain experience!

To foster a growth mindset, welcome challenges as opportunities for learning and personal development. Rather than avoiding challenges, view them as opportunities to expand your capabilities, learn new things, and acquire fresh skills.

To approach and overcome challenges with a growth mindset, start by reframing your perspective. Instead of fearing failure, focus on the lessons you can learn and the new skills you can develop from each new experience.

Learn from Your Mistakes and Failures

Mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of any learning process. However, what sets people with a growth mindset apart is their ability to view these setbacks as opportunities for continual growth.

Adopt a constructive approach to extract valuable lessons from your mistakes and failures. When things don’t go as planned, don’t give up. Instead, look at the situation and determine what went wrong, what you could have done differently, and move forward from there. Remember, failure is not permanent. It’s just a temporary stop on the path to success.

Foster a Positive Outlook and Optimism

A positive outlook is closely intertwined with a growth mindset. Optimistic individuals are more resilient in facing challenges and persevere longer than their pessimistic counterparts.

Maintaining a positive attitude, even in the face of setbacks, is a skill that can be developed. You can cultivate it by expressing gratitude, directing your attention toward solutions instead of dwelling on problems, and by surrounding yourself with supporting and optimistic individuals. There are many benefits to this approach, including enhanced creativity, better critical thinking skills, and an improved outlook on life.

Seek Feedback and Constructive Criticism

Obtaining feedback is a fantastic way to gain fresh insight into your strengths and weaknesses and identify areas for improvement. For these reasons, it is an invaluable tool for your personal development and growth.

Don’t shy away from constructive criticism. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity to gain experience and grow. Listen closely and ask clarifying questions whenever necessary to get a clear picture of how you can use this information to get better results in the future.

Take Risks and Accept Discomfort

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a hallmark of a growth mindset. When you take calculated risks and accept discomfort, you open the door to new experiences and opportunities for growth. Start with small steps outside your comfort zone and gradually expand your horizons. The more you challenge yourself, the more resilient and adaptable you will become.

Cultivating a growth mindset is a transformative journey that can lead to lifelong learning and success. It is not a one-time thing or an overnight achievement, however. Instead, it requires an enduring commitment to your own personal development.”

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10 Growth Mindset Affirmations

Now that I have decided to push past and out of my comfort zone I have been searching for some inspiration. A new starting point. Of course the internet is full of such advice.

So I found this list – any comments?

I welcome challenges because they help me learn and grow.

I can rise above whatever challenges and setbacks I face.

I can learn and adapt to any situation.

I can achieve what I set out to do.

I am the author of my own future.

I focus on progress, rather than perfection.

My future success is determined by the effort I put into achieving it.

Mistakes are not to be feared, they help me learn and grow.

I can develop the skills I need to succeed.

I am dedicated to becoming the best version of myself.

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What’s Wrong with Staying in Your Comfort Zone?

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone we are used to. It’s what is familiar. It’s also the place where we are the most dissatisfied with our life.

When we stay in our comfort zone, we are forcing ourselves to stay stagnant. We’re afraid to change for fear of what could happen. Our brains are trained to keep us safe, so we stay in our comfort zone instead of facing the unknown.

Staying in our comfort zone though can cause problems as well. Here are eight reasons it’s wrong to stay in your comfort zone.

Not reaching your goals. If you stay in your comfort zone, you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goals. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse keeps you from acting toward your goal.

Lack of growth. Staying in your comfort zone will keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never going forward and never growing and changing. You might end up not achieving your goals because you’re stuck on doing things the same way you’ve always done them, even when you’re not seeing any results. You don’t step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you can accomplish.

No or lost passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found outside your comfort zone.

Feeling left behind. When you stay in your comfort zone you will feel like you are being left behind your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career but because they stepped out of their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you push yourself to settle for less than you desire. You put your passion or things you love aside.

Your self-confidence lags. When you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to grow and take on new challenges.

Your health suffers. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you aren’t taking care of your health either. It can be from fear of going to the doctor, not wanting to change your routines, avoiding going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

You’ll be unprepared for changes. You are inflexible and set in your ways when you stick to your comfort zone. Life can be difficult, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want to. Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

The reasons we stay in our comfort zone are the same ones that we should be using to step out of our comfort zone. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s wrong to limit yourself to settling for mediocrity.

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The Unknown: Where You Find Your True Self

You’ve heard the saying by Roy T. Bennet, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

It’s true that during the times you step outside your element, you experience who you really are. It’s about facing our fears and doing things we are enthusiastic about.

We often live our lives with the “I cannot,” “I don’t want to,” or “it’s too difficult” thoughts that keep us stuck and unhappy. It’s only until we realize that when we stop letting our negative thoughts control us, that we find our true self.

Stepping into the unknown is frightening, the place just beyond where we can see the outcome of doing it. That’s the part that makes our hearts pump faster, makes us break out into a cold sweat and yet, we yearn to see what’s there.

Staying in our comfort zone keeps us from stepping into that unknown. It keeps us secure and safe. Your comfort zone is the basis of your life now. It’s how you define who and what you currently are.

But what would happen if you stretched outside that zone? Would terrible things happen? Or would you suddenly be excited about life?

How do you know if you should step into the unknown? Begin by writing down ten things that don’t scare you and you do often. This could be things like traveling by bus, giving a public speech, or whatever it is that doesn’t scare you. It’ll be different for each person because we all have different comfort zones.

Describe how it feels to live within your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible using feeling words. How does it make you feel to be in your body, your mind, and your life?

Then ask yourself these questions:

Are there things you want to achieve but haven’t yet?
Are you dissatisfied with your daily life?
Do you want to achieve important things?
Do your goals and passions keep appearing, tugging at you?
Are there material or immaterial things you want that you don’t have?
Are you struggling with finding meaning in your life?
Are you feeling jealous of others who have achieved or done things you secretly want?

Once you’ve answered these questions, think about what’s keeping you from going after what you want. What makes you uncomfortable? Is it fear? Are you reluctant to take chances or make changes?

Write Down 10 Things That Scare You.

Now describe how it would feel if you were living outside your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible. Describe in detail how it feels, what you see, hear or where you are. Use images, color, or visualization to help you create your life.

Take your time with these steps. Once you realize what’s keeping you from stepping into the unknown you can begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone to get there.

Your life can be as fulfilling and exciting as you desire it to be once you step into the unknown where you find your true self.

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Struggling to achieve your goals? Maybe your comfort zone is the reason.

We all have high aspirations. However, it can be hard to turn those dreams and goals into a reality. The truth is many of us struggle to reach our goals. The reason frequently involves our apprehension about step out of our comfort zone.

It’s true that nothing ever happens in our comfort zone. It’s the place that keeps us in the “someday” mode of pushing our goals to the side until the time is right, for another day or when you have more skills, money, and time.

Unfortunately, “someday” never happens. Eventually the life you dreamed of becomes a memory, a wish-I-would-have thought. Our fear of trying something different, putting ourselves out there and going for it keeps us from taking action. We let our comfort zone keep us safe.

Your comfort zone keeps you paralyzed from attempting what you desire. You may have goals and dreams but are afraid of the what-if’s that might happen when you do try. Instead, it’s safer to stay where you’re comfortable instead of getting hurt or humiliated by attempting your goal.

You’re afraid of speaking to a large group of people so you don’t go to the next level in your career, even though it is what you desire. You keep to yourself and stay in your current position instead where you’re comfortable.

You don’t go after your desire to start your own business because you’re afraid of failing. You stay in a job that you hate instead. You don’t try new adventures because you have an aversion to meeting new people and looking foolish. So, you stay at home in your comfort zone.

Some of the reasons you stay in your comfort zone might be from

Fear of the unknown, uncertainty

Anxiety over change

Negative mindset, pessimistic outlook

Lack of clarity and focus

Fear of failing (or succeeding)

No matter what it looks like, your comfort zone keeps you trapped. You stop advancing professionally. You don’t grow and develop personally. You eat the same way, live in the same place, drive the same kind of car, and associate with the same people.

Your comfort zone lets you willingly pass up important opportunities. Because of this, you might lose touch with your relationships, your health may begin to have serious problems, and you end up living a life of mediocrity.

Your unwillingness to act and step out of your comfort zone for whatever reason directly impacts your goals. If you are afraid to take the next step, and never do, you’ll stay where you’re at. If you worry about what will happen if you go for your goal so you end up not going for it, then you won’t ever reach it.

When you see yourself struggling to achieve your goals it’s often because you are stuck in your comfort zone. You are afraid of change, of doing things differently and being someone different.

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Is Staying in Your Comfort Zone Holding You Back?

We’ve heard a lot about getting out of our comfort zone. But have you ever thought about why you should? Our comfort zone is where we feel in control and safe. It’s where we can predict what will happen and how we will feel. There won’t be any surprises with which we can’t deal.

So why would you feel compelled or even want to get out of your comfort zone? You need to do it because getting out of your comfort zone is the key to your personal growth and happiness. Stepping out of that zone helps you build up your self-confidence and the way you view yourself.

Is being there holding you back from living a fulfilled life and growing in our career?

The answer is yes. Being in your comfort zone and staying there keeps you from realizing and achieving what you desire. Staying safely within your comfort zone keeps you from being challenged and you don’t have to rise to any new occasions.

Here are three ways staying in your comfort zone is holding you back.

It’s keeping you from growing personally. When you are afraid of something, staying in your comfort zone keeps you from facing that fear. Then you suffer from it forever or until you do face it. You stay away from situations that would put you in a position of having to face fear to overcome it.

For example, your fear of public speaking keeps you from taking a job that requires you to speak in front of others, even though it’s a step up on your career ladder.

2. Your comfort zone is keeping you from being happy. You struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. These problems can grow unless you take steps outside your comfort zone to begin addressing them. Stepping outside your comfort zone helps you build confidence in yourself and see yourself in a better light.

When you are confident and have good self-esteem, you are happier. For example, if you’re not confident in your abilities, you tend to stay in your comfort zone instead of trying something new. This drags down your confidence, making you feel less competent and making you unhappy.

3. Staying in your comfort zone can make you feel trapped and unhealthy. Often our comfort zone keeps us from doing good things out of fear. You might want to be more active, run a marathon, feel less aches and pains, and go on adventures. But to do any of these things means doing something that is outside your comfort zone. For example, you want to run a short marathon. It’s always been a dream of yours, but you procrastinate and make excuses. You’re too out of shape. You don’t have time. You’re too old. But the real reason is because you are afraid to get out of your comfort zone and begin training with a trainer. As a result, you continue to eat unhealthily, gain weight, lose muscle tone, and put your dream on the back burner until eventually, your health becomes a problem.

When we stay in our comfort zone, we are holding ourselves back from living a life we love, from being happy and from growing. We end up letting our fears rule and settling for mediocrity.

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First thoughts on the Comfort Zone

Fear: The One Thing Standing in Your Way of Happiness

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” Dorothy Thompson

Imagine this: you are sitting on the beach watching the sunset as waves lap the sand as you bask in the glow. A book lies in your lap as you lose yourself in thought of how wonderful you feel at this moment.

Now imagine what the reality is: You’re dreaming of traveling to the beach, sitting on the sand watching the sun set. But instead of taking the steps to go, you feel fear. What if you’re needed in your job, by your family or any of your other obligations? What if the plane crashes? What if you get lost? What would happen if you let down your guard? What if…?

Living in fear keeps us from taking the risks and chances to go for what we truly desire. It keeps us from finding true happiness.

Photo by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA on Pexels.com

Happiness isn’t defined by what you have; where you live; where you go; or the people you love. True happiness is a feeling. It’s something you feel deep inside about yourself and believe yourself to be. But to find it you must face the fears that keep you paralyzed.

When we have fears, we feel unsafe. Facing our fears and getting out of our comfort zone is hard because of how humans naturally expect the worst-case scenario. Our brains naturally send us negative information because it is trying to keep you safe.

So how can you live a life free of fear and be happy?

Everyone has fears. It’s normal. It’s how we react to them that makes the difference in how we feel. But you might find yourself weighed down with too much fear that’s preventing you from being happy. If that’s the case, it’s time to get familiar with your fears and find ways to work through them.

Here are four common fears and ideas to help you deal with them.

Fear of failure. This is a common fear, often stemming from our childhood. Fear of failing a test, for example. This fear brings on the feeling of being judged or embarrassed. Failing is part of success. Overcome this fear by not worrying about the outcome and only focusing on the process of getting to success.

Fear of success. This fear stems from many different fears: fear of change, responsibilities, attention, vulnerability, and many others. The best way to overcome this fear is to focus on one step at a time while moving forward.

Fear of rejection. The fear of being rejected is a reaction to our innate need for belonging. It can include fears of being judged, not being liked, or being alone. To overcome this fear put yourself out there, reminding yourself that the right people will respond to you favorably.

Fear of not being good enough. This fear is rooted in how we feel about ourselves. Our low self-esteem keeps us from not trying because of a lack of confidence. You can overcome this fear by starting small with things you know you can accomplish. Keep taking more steps to build your self-confidence.

We all have fears of some kind. They may seem rational to us but appear irrational to others. To overcome your fears, you need to understand why you have them and then face them so you can live a life of true happiness.

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Comfort Zone Oman!

Well like I said, the start of 2023 was not the best. SO I quit the UK and came back to being a teacher in Oman. I am now living in what is best described as a 5 star resort at Hawana, Salalah, in the south of Oman.

Then suddenly I noticed 6 months have gone by and I am back in my comfort zone. I am comfortable. I have a lovely lifestyle, with money in the bank and every day sunshine.

Ths is great, though it is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I want to write more books, travel, fall in love again…

With that in mind I have researched and found a few articles on how to push outside our comfort zones. These articles are for me but if you enjoy them too then let me know.

Also if you want a smile have a look at these…

Strange things from Uranus

Trans-Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus

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It was a tough 6 months…

…but now I am in a lovely school in Oman!!!

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Look after everyone

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Step 3 – Offer Advice

Empathy is a two-part process. You take on the perspective of another person. You develop an understanding emotionally of what that person is going through. The second part involves action. You provide assistance of some kind. You try to help the person with their struggle.

One way you can do this is by offering smart advice. Remember to think about their situation and not yours. Don’t include any bias or judgment. Put yourself in their shoes and then give them advice to help them out of their problem.

Showing empathy means you care. It tells people you’re putting your own interests aside for a while. The three-step process we just covered can help you show empathy to the people you care about. You’ll find that you benefit as much as they do by making an emotional connection.

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

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Step 2 – Validate the Experience

People often tell you what’s on their minds because they want you to validate what they’re saying. They need to know that it’s okay to have certain feelings or think a specific way. When you validate a tough situation, someone’s experiencing, you let them know they’re not alone.

You validate an experience by adopting the same feelings and emotions. Tell the person that you’re sharing the experience with them and that it’s okay. They should recognize whatever emotions are happening. Then the empathetic person tries to figure out what can be done to fix the problem.

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Step 1 – Listen Actively

You might be a good listener. But are you an active listener? Do you just sit there with a blank expression and take in everything that’s being said?

An active listener uses body language, facial expressions, and eye movement to let the person speaking know that they’re engaged and present. They are truly and deeply listening.

You use open-ended questions to try to get more information from the speaker. Active listening uses anything at your disposal to get the speaker to share more information. You communicate to that person that their feelings are understood.

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A Simple 3-Step Process to Practice More Empathy

An empathetic person can identify with what someone else is experiencing. They may have had the same experience before. This isn’t necessary to practice empathy. You might just be very good at putting yourself in another person’s mindset.

Someone tells you they lost their job. They’re going through so many different negative emotions. They’re concerned about their mortgage payment and other financial issues.

A person that loses a dream job could start wondering what happened. It took them a long time to get the job they always wanted. They might have been great employees. Then something occurred that was out of their control. Perhaps the company went bankrupt.

This individual could start questioning his own role in the failure of the company. A ton of different negative emotions might be experienced. The empathetic person can fully embrace the emotions the other person is going through even if they’ve never lost a job before.

You might want to help your friends and family members by displaying more empathy. You care about them and want to help them when they’re in need. If that’s the case, simply put into practice the following three-step technique for showing empathy.

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Have a Great Day!

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Techniques That Stop Anger in its Tracks – 2.

Do Something Grand

Take your anger and turn it into activism. How can you use this to change the world? Sign (or start!) a petition. Volunteer. Get involved in the community and make the world a better place.

Write About It

Journaling can help you to work through your emotions in a way that might even help prevent you from getting mad the next time around. Understanding what it was about the event which triggered you will help reshape the trigger entirely.

Switch Perspective

It can be hard to use empathy when you’re upset. But if you can see things from their perspective, it might help you to calm your response. Many times, anger comes from misunderstanding the situation.

Forgive

This technique falls under expert level of anger management. By being the bigger person and forgiving the other, you’ll find you no longer have reason to be mad at all.

The key to all of these is simple: don’t let anger take control. The last thing you need is for you to fall under the power of negative emotion. Use the anger to make a better place or let it go entirely. In the end, you’ll be happier you did.

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Techniques That Stop Anger in its Tracks – 1

You can’t believe they did it. Of all people, turning on you this way. You want to react in kind, drawing on the anger flowing through you to lash out. Make the other person hurt every bit as much as you do right now.

Wait a minute. You can’t. You’re not that person. You don’t want to BE that person. You’re better than this.

But how do you stop anger in its tracks before it gets the best of you?

Take a Walk

The physical act of walking will burn off some of the adrenaline while getting outside, giving you a distracting change in scenery. And it works even better if you’re walking away from the object of your anger. Sometimes all you need is some space.

Pay Attention to your Muscles!

Like walking, exercise is good. Also, anger tends to tighten you up, so a good stretch, or even better practicing progressive muscle relaxation, will knock the tension out.

Say Something

Choose a pet phrase or mantra which calms you. Say it several times, slowly, and deliberately to put your focus elsewhere.

Visualization

Escape somewhere else. Remove yourself from the situation that has made you mad and find a quiet place where you can visualize something peaceful. Build in as much detail as you can to make it as real as possible. Stay in this vision until you feel yourself start to calm down.

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5 Techniques for Using Affirmations to Enhance Your Relationship

Affirmations are powerful positive statements. You may be aware of them as a tool for self-improvement or to help you reach your goals. Did you know that affirmations can help improve your relationships with your partner, family, friends, and even your colleagues?

By choosing your words carefully and meaningfully, you can improve relationships in every area of your life.

Show Empathy

You can use affirmations to show the other person that you see their feelings and acknowledge them. Affirmations can be used as a component of active listening. Listen to what they are saying, without interruption, and when you do speak, you reflect on what they said to you. You acknowledge where they are and give them space to vent or celebrate or just get their message across.

The key to showing empathy is to make sure you don’t contradict or negate their feelings. Don’t offer advice or give a contrary opinion. Just stand with them in their space.

Be Authentic

Make sure your affirmations come from a place of sincerity. Don’t say things you don’t mean. Keep your affirming messages to the point and focused on the other person.

Affirmations that are economical with the truth or speak out of character will undermine your relationship, not build it. Make sure you speak from the heart. And you don’t have to use flowery language, just be nice.

Tell Your Loved Ones They’re Loved

Saying I love you early in a relationship is easy. But as time goes on, it’s easy to let endearments slide. Get into the habit of telling your partner, your children, your family, your friends how much you love them. Don’t take it for granted that they feel loved, make sure they know it!

Say Thank You

When was the last time you said thank you for a home-cooked meal? Or for proofreading your job application? Or even for taking the garbage out?

No act of kindness should go unacknowledged. Show your family and friends and colleagues that you appreciate what they do for you. Affirm their role in your life.

Give Public Praise

Sometimes the best affirmations come in the form of public acknowledgment. Give credit where it’s due to your team members, your partner, and your kids. Show them you’re grateful and proud of them. Make it a point to acknowledge the extra effort and exceptional achievements.

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Have a Positive week!

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Final 10 ideas to boost traffic – 41 to 50

The aim of this blog is to help people on their journey to make a living Online. I am constantly searching and researching for articles I can share. One of the recent pages I came across was this piece of PLR called ‘50 ways to boost traffic’. I suppose I could have put all 50 down at once, though I think that would be too confusing. Too many ideas delivered all at once can just lead to procrastination – where do I start syndrome.